I hate that I loved you so much!
by SaralieHale-Brandon
Summary: This story takes place in New moon after Edward leaves Bella in the woods,all she knows is that Edward left, and Alice left, eventually she gets turned into a vampire and she hates it.
1. Just letting you know

**English.**

**I've meaning to let my readers know that. I am willing to translate my stories, to Spanish,or to the Czech,or to the Italian, or to the Portuguese even. I will upload the first chapter of the stories. I must warn you. It has been a while since I wrote or spoke something more than Spanish or English, I will some times mix some of the words from another language, so that I won't completely forget about the other language, so please bear with me. If there's something wrong please let me know, or if doesn't make sence. I will apreciate it a lot. **

******Sa-llie. **

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**Español.**

**He querido dejarles saber a mis lectores que, estoy dispuesta a traducir mis historias, al español, o para la República Checa, o para el italiano, o incluso a los portugueses. Voy a subirmitir el primer capítulo de mis historias. Pero debo advertirles. Que ha pasado un tiempo desde que escribió o habló algo más que el Español o Inglés, voy a mezclar algunas veces, algunas de las palabras de otro idioma, para que no se me olvide por completo las otras lenguas, así que por favor tengan paciencia conmigo. Si hay algo mal escrito por favor hágamelo saber, o si no tiene sentido. Voy a apreciarlo muchisimo.**

**Sa-llie.**

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**Portoghese.**

**Eu queria que meus leitores sabem que eu estou disposto a traduzir minhas histórias, o espanhol, ou tcheco, ou italiano, ou mesmo o Português. Vou subirmitir o primeiro capítulo de minhas histórias. Mas devo avisar. Isso tem sido um tempo desde que eu escrevi ou falei mais do que o Espanhol ou Inglês, às vezes eu misturar algumas das palavras de outra língua, para não me esquecer completamente os outros idiomas, por favor seja paciente mim. Se algo estiver errado por favor me avise, por escrito ou qualquer sentido. Eu aprecio isso.  
**

**Sa-llie.**

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**Čeština**

**Chtěl jsem, aby se moje čtenáři vědí, že jsem ochoten přeložit své příběhy, španělština, nebo české, nebo italské, nebo dokonce portugalštině. Budu subirmitir první kapitola mé příběhy. Ale musím varovat. To dlouho, co jsem napsal a mluvil více než španělsky nebo anglicky, někdy mix některé ze slov jiného jazyka, abych zapomněl úplně jiné jazyky, takže buďte trpěliví mě. Pokud je něco špatně, dejte mi vědět, písemně nebo žádný smysl. Já to ocení.  
Sa-llie.**

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**Italiano.**

**Ho voluto lasciare i miei lettori sanno che io sono disposto a tradurre le mie storie, gli spagnoli, o ceca, o italiano, o anche il portoghese. Io subirmitir il primo capitolo delle mie storie. Ma devo mettere in guardia. Che è stato un po 'da quando ho scritto o parlato più della lingua spagnola o inglese, a volte mi mix alcune delle parole di un'altra lingua, perché non ho dimenticato completamente le altre lingue, perciò sii paziente me. Se c'è qualcosa di sbagliato per favore fatemelo sapere per iscritto o non ha senso. Ho stima che muchisimo.**

**Sa-llie.**


	2. Chapter 1: I'm not me anymore

**I hate that I loved you so much!!**

**Hey, I had an Idea for a twilight fan-fic and I wanted to know it I should keep writing it or not.**

**Here's the idea.**

**This story takes place in New moon after Edward leaves Bella in the woods, BTW Bella doesn't jump off the cliff or got started on the ARA (Adrenaline Rush Addiction) she doesn't start to hang out with Jacob (because this is my fan-fic and I can't stand Jacob) she doesn't know that the Quileutes are were-wolves, all she knows is that Edward left, and Alice left, they all left her once they grew tired of playing with her emotions or so she thinks, yes eventually she gets turned into a vampire and she hates it because it only reminds her of what she's missing. She also is one if not the strongest coolest, kickass vampire ever but she only sees it at as reason why he left her feeding her rage. **

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**Disclaimer:**

**This story may come out OOC, but this is my fan-fic so deal with it ; ) ,...anyways....I own nothing, this characters belong to S. M. I'm just toying with them. **

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**Chapter 1: not me anymore.**

**BPOV:**

He lied.

She lied.

They all lied, but not Rosalie she let me know she didn't liked me.

This is the 13th letter I've written after finding that loose plank on my bedroom floor, with pictures of him. He promised me forever but he left, He said he loved me, that he wouldn't let me get hurt, but he left. He hurt me, He killed me, and here I am pretending to get better, pretending I'm not dead, pretending i've moved on.

I've been walking around the woods trying to find our meadow, no luck so far. But there are at least three more rutes to find it. I've also kept up with my high heel walking, I've improve a lot my legs don't wobble when I'm standing anymore, I've even took five steps yesterday without tripping over nothing with them on, I've also found out that this practices are helping my balance I don't trip as often on flat surfaces anymore, but everytime I see the heels I remember Rosalie, she wasn't the nicest of them all but at least she didn't lie.

I've also taken up shopping, because it reminds me of Alice, Oh Alice I've missed you so much, even though you lied to me, you made me believe you loved me, that you were my sister, my best friend, I've being working on the Newton's store so I have money to buy those expencive designer's clothe Alice would force me to get.

I've also taken up exercicing, because it keeps my mind off of things, the guys at the gym say that I'm toned and there's is this one guy that's huge he reminds me of Emmett, Oh my Emmie Bear how I miss you, and your embarrasing jokes, and your deadly bear hugs.

How I miss Esme and her gentle hugs, and caring conversations, I miss you mom.

How I miss Carlisle and his compassion, I miss you dad.

I miss you all.

That's the 13th letter I've written to them, just to end up in that box of memories under my bed, Idon't know what to do anymore, I'm always doing something just to keep my mind away from the painful memories, but no matter what I do there's something that reminds me of them.

I started on Charlie's dinner, chicken enchiladas because it takes was almost 6 o'clock when Charlie walked in.

"Bells?" He called from the doorway, I could hear him hanging up his gun.

"Yeah, Dad" of course it was me who else could it be?

"How was your day?" he asked walking into the kitchen.

"The usual" I responded not really paying attention to him.

"What was it to day? Shopping or gym?" he asked sarcastically.

"Today's Thursday" I said barely above a whisper focusing even more on the task on hands.

"Letters" he muttered and walked out of the kitchen.

The dinner was quiet not like it was it's usual comfortable silence, Thursdays are always awkward now, since they left.

I cleaned the dishes and went upstairs to do my homework, finished it and walked downstairs to said good night to Charlie. The t.v was on but he wasn't in the living room, where could he be? I strained me ears to hear if he was in the kitchen, nothing.

"Dad?" I called out, poking my head in the kitchen he wasn't there but the back door was open, I walked towards it and the feeling of someone watching me hit me like a tidal wave, but still walked to the back door once again I called out for Charlie.

"Dad?" no answer again, I poked my head out and there was a shadow-y movement in front of me the shadow stood in front of me and I scream.

"Sheesh Bells calm down it's just me" Charlie said stepping into the light.

"God!! Dad you almost gave me a heart attack" I replied clutching my chest.

"I'm not that scarry" he replied pouting and walking into the living room.

"I called out to you, why didn't you replied? you scared me" I said flopping down on the couch next to him.

"Guess I didn't hear you" he shrugged.

"Why were you out there, anyway?" I asked looking at him, he replied looking at the flat screen.

"Heard a noise". And when I didn't say anything he turned to look at me and said: "Racoon".

"Oh" was ll I said about it, I stood up and said " 'Night Dad" and kissed his cheeck. I walked upstairs, this is the most I've talked in months, poor Charlie, I hate to see him like this so surprised and content with a simple conversation. I got in bed and welcomed the sweet nightmares that took over every night since they left, I welcomed it because it was the only place were I could see him, even if it meant to re-live the day he left.

Like always he walked away from me, and I ran after him never getting close to him, he was to fast, and I was a clumzy human.

"No Edward, don't go, Please don't leave me" I cried, running after him. "Please stay, please" I begged him once I stopped, but he kept running away from me, but then the dream changed, I was running through the woods then I saw a rock near a tree trunk that somehow it seems familiar I turn around towards the light at the distance and ran for a while. There it was the meadow. I stepping towards it and it was different, it felt different, it felt like me, it felt dead. As I sobbed into my hands dropping to the ground there was a snap. I turned around to see what had caused the noise and there was nothing, when I was tired of crying out for Edward to please come back, to take me back, I heard a dark chuckle. I turned slowly towards the sound and sure enough the was Victoria.

"It seems that you're little protector has left you alone, poor little human without him you have no chance against me" she said rounding me. "Seems like you where just a little toy" she sneered at me, making the whole in my chest throbe.

"Just leave me alone" I said barely above a whisper which I knew she could hear.

"I don't think so, you see My James is gone because of you, no matter if you are or are not little Eddie's mate you are going to pay" she said slapping me across the face and I could feel the blood gushing out through my open skin, her eyes grew black and I knew what was going to happen, she jumped on me and pinned me to the ground, I didn't try to fight her off I didn't stand a chance if I even tried, she lowered her face to my neck as in slow motion then I felt it Her teeth against my skin ripping it open she sucked out my blood, and it hurt I couldn't bare to try to hold in the screams the bubbled up in my chest and scaped my throat, eventually my sight became dark. I shoot up sitting straight in my bed, cold sweat running down my face, trying to calm myself down I took deep breaths, I looked over to the alarm clock on my bed side table and it said 3:15am, I flopped back to my bed.

"Why did you saved me from James if you didn't want me?" I whispered into the night "Why did you leave me?" I cried and rolled to the side and felt into a dreamless rest of the night.

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**Please review, let me know that this isn't a complete waste of my time and imagination, I will upload as soon as I get reviews the more reviews and constructive critisism I get the more I'm pressured into writing with only makes me get the best f my stories, I work best under pressure, then again PLEASE REVIEW!.......Sa-llie.**


	3. Chapter 2: They're everywhere

**Disclaimer:**

**I own the cookies I bought.**

**I own the Team Edward shirts- and posters I bought.**

**I own the Twilight saga books on my book case.**

**Unfortunately I don't own Twilight itself or it's wonderful characters, those belong to S.M.**

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**Chapter 2: They're everywhere.**

**BPOV:**

Thanks to aunt Elena, an aunt of Charlie, that not even Charlie knew he had, well apparently she was rich and left us her money, since she had no kids and apparently Charlie was her only and favorite nephew, anyways the deal is that she left us a fortune, I mean a fortune. Charlie divided it between us and he gave me two- thirds of it leaving me two bank accounts with amounts reaching 8 and 11 digits, aunt Elena was loaded.

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I woke up the next morning, still in bed staring at my bedroom's ceiling, I groaned, and got up. Charlie was already gone by the time I woke up. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, after I looked at my reflexion in the mirror. "God, I look like them" I said out loud as I traced my hand over my rat's nest of hair, I fixed my hair, and let the natural curls that form at the end there and let my hair out, I was paler than when they were around, I had purple like bruises, bags under my eyes, my once brown eyes were lifeless orbs that resembled coal, rather than chocolate. I sighed, and applied some color to my face, I no longer blush so I had to apply fake blush, and a little bit of pink lip-gloss to resemble some color, some life in me, eventhough I had no life since he left.

Once back in my room, I changed out of my pj's for the clothes that I was going to wear to school, I stood only with my Victoria's Secrets undergarments in front of my closet thinking: "Alice would have complemented me on my refined fashion sense, she would have picked out my clothes for me, she would have loved to ask me to go shopping, and I would have refused," a tear scaped eye and I wiped it away before getting the staing in my cheeck "then she would have find a way to make me feel guilty for not letting her have fun, then I would have agreed, and she would have dragged me to the mall, and I would end up having fun with my best-friend," I sighed again and took a lillac Rachel stretch cotton shirt from Ralph Lauren, and Miami Dark silver skinny jeans from Tommy Hilfiger, black ballet flats, I don't want people to know that I not only have balance now that I no longer trip on flat surfaces, but I can actually walk with high heels, but not yet.

I've changed so much that the only one that sees through the pain, the new money, the clothes and everything is Angela. The others are to distracted with the material, the exact result that I was looking for. Yes, I know it all call attention to me but I just don't care anymore, I don't care what any of them think, they can think what they want, they can say what the want, none of its going to hurt me more than being away from my family, away from the reason why I was born, away from my life.

Coming out of my reverie I was in the kitchen with a box of cereal and a carton of milk in my hands, I sighed once again and ate my breakfast, when I was done I placed the bowl in the sink, I'll get them later on. I walked to the closet near the front door, took my white, South Pole coat and my Louis Voitton back pack, and then reacher out for the keys of my gray Saturn Sky, yeah my truck died the same day I did, the day they left. I left for school.

Once in school I was greeted by the usual crowd, Mike, Jessica, Tyler, and envious Lauren, Ben, and Angela, the guys like always drooled over my car, while Jessica and Lauren waited for Mike and Tyler, Angela and I walked to my locker, with the same conversation as always.

"Bella, how are you holding up?" she would asked, to which I would reply.

"I'm fine, Ange," she would look at me skeptically, I would roll my eyes and she would drop it.

But today she didn't let it drop.

"Bella, don't tell me that you're fine, 'cause you're not, you never talk, or say anything about them, you're not even acting like yourself, all you do is shop, and exercice, remember how you used to say that Alice was a shopaholic?" and as she said Alice's name I flintched "And how Emmett looked like bear?" she mentioned Emmett, my bear of a brother, and I fintched again "See what I mean I can't even say their names without you cringing, I know you liked them, and but this time I have to agree with Chief Swan, Bella this isn't healthy," Angela said facing me in a empty hallway.

"so what do you want me to do? To say Angela?" I asked her in a whisper.

"how about we skip today's lessons?" she asked me.

"you want to cut school?" I asked her, dumbfolded, this is the first time I heard her say something so irresponsible from her.

" I want to help you, and being in school isn't going to help me do that, plus we're both A students we'll cathch up easily," she said dismissively.

"O-okay," I stuttered, and we walked out of school, into the parking lot and we got in my car, since she got a lift from Ben that morning, and we drove to my house.

When we got to my house, we sat in the living room, me looking at my hands in my lap, and Angela looking at me. I knew she was going to ask me a whole bunch of questiongs about them, and everything and I think I was ready to let it out, I didn't want to hold to it any longer, and tears trickled down my face. Angela got up and sat next to me, wrapping her warm arms around my as I sobbed into her shoulder.

She let me cry on her. When I was done sobbing and was calmed, she started to talk.

" are you feeling better?" she asked concerned. I shook my head.

" Ange, I can't do this anymore, I can't stand being away from him, I love him, and it hurts so much it feels like I can't breathe, I'm constantly trying to pull myself together, I have nightmares with him every night, all I think it gravitates to them somehow," and I felt more tears coming " I miss them, I need him, why did they have to go? Why did he leave me? He said he didn't loved me anymore, and having money only reminds me of them, their expensive cars, the designers clothes, "I sobbed again.

"Oh, Bella I didn't know it was that bad, I knew that you had change but I thought that was just because of the money you wanted to flaunt it a bit, I didn't know it still bothered you so much," she said hugging me again.

I sniffed, she smiled timidly at me, "It's ok, I feel better letting it out" I smiled back at her. After so much talking of my relationship with Edward, and Alice, and Emmett. She got up outraged and started to yelled: "How could he just leave like that? after what you told me and what I saw at school, it seemed like LOVE, not the school love the one that's over after 3 months, but I mean a Happily ever After, and Alice? How could she? she claimed to be your best-friend and sister, and she wouldn't even say goodbye? What kind of friend does that?" pacing around the living room.

"Ange, calm down, will you? You're kind of scarying me," I said truthfully, she was vivid, and I never knew that she could get so mad.

"no wonder, you can't hear their names, not even I can't hear their names without wanting to rip them apart," I chuckled at her expresion ._...oh, Angela if only you knew the whole truth...._

"I'll be fine, I just needed someone to listen and be on my side, thank you,".

"Anytime Bella, you know i'm here to help you, if you need a person to cry on I'm just a call away," she smile sadly at me, after that she asked me to drive her home since we talked for more than 7 hours about them.

When I got home I changed my clothes and when to the gym where I met with my personal trainer, Rob he reminds me of Emmett, he was Big, almost as big as Emmett, and he was just as sweet, and goofy. I exercices for about two and a half hours, just to waste time and to tone my body, I only went there because of Rob but I wasn't going to admit that. Besides that I really helping my body, I've never looked better, but does it even matter? The one guy I want to see me, to touch me, to want me, is not here, he doesn't love me anyways.

By the time I got home it was 6:30pm an Charlie wasn't home he would be late tonight, I made some spagettis and left his share on the microwave, and headed upstairs to my room, I didn't have any homework since me and Angela skipped the wholes day of school, I went up to my laptop since I replaced the other old one, I opened my e-mail and saw two e-mails. I opened the first one it was from my mom, it said:

Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to come down to Jacksonville for the spring break? Spend some time with me and Phil? We miss you so much, please call me soon.

Love, Mom.

The second one was from Angela, that said:

Bella, I know you feel bad, that they left, I would feel bad too, but think of it this way, you lived before knowing them, you can live without them after, think of them as a happy memory that you will miss like baking cookies with your nana when you were 7 years old or like going on a field trip over night without your parents, but don't let them take over your life even when their gone, Cheer up.

Angela.

I shut the laptop off, and sighed, the branch outside my window scrapped against it, and I remembered I walked up to it and unlocked it I knew it wasn't safe, that Victoria could be lurking out there but I couldn't careless, actually I think that if I saw her I would welcome her in get ready to let Charlie think that I ran away, or something like that, then I could die peacefully, really the only reason that I haven't jumped from a cliff in La Push (**AN/ I couldn't help it, I thought it was a really cool part from New moon**) it's because that stupid promised I made him, but he broke his and my heart _why can't I break the promise I made him? Because I freaking Love him, that's why_. I walked to my bed to go sleep and welcome the lovely nightmare with Him.

Tonight nightmares was different it was a memory of me and Him in out meadow, it was the first time he took me there, the first time I saw him sparkle, the first time he kissed me. I woke up screaming, Charlie gave up on coming into my room at nights he knew about the nightmares, but this was the most painful of them all, because it reminded me of what I was missing, of why I loved him, of what I lost, of what it could have been.

Then when I calmed down I felt a presence in my room, I strained my eyes because of the darkness but I saw nothing I reached to the lamp on the nightstand, but when I turned the light on there was only a reddish blur.

-"Hello?" I called "It's someone there?" but there was no answer. "why do I even bother? If there is actually someone out there it's not like their going to be all 'Hi there', stupid," I muttered reaching to turn off the lamp, and then again there was the reddish blur.

-"Edward?" I whispered his named, feeling the hole in my chest throb. But there was no answer. _Of course he's not going to answer his not here he doesn't even care about you why would he be here?_ "I'm so stupid," I muttered and there was a chuckle. "who's there?" I asked scared of who might be and soon enough I saw her, Victoria.

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**Please review let me know if I should keep going with this idea. I'm thinking about giving up, am I wasting my time... let me know what you think....Sa-llie.**


	4. Chapter 3: Facing Reality

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Please give it back? *Puppy eyes, batting eyelashes***

**Bella: That's not gonna work on me, say it!**

**Me: I don't want to *pouting***

**Bella: then I won't give it back *smirks***

**Me: but then I won't be able to write the story!**

**Bella: then say it.**

**Me: But-**

**Bella: do you want it back?**

**Me: yes, but-**

**Bella: no buts, just say it and I'll give it back *smiles sweetly***

**Me: that's blackmail, it's not fair *sulking***

**Bella: do you want your computer back?**

**Me: fine *defeated* I don't own Twilight or it's characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Bella: see? It wasn't that hard, here *gives back the laptop***

**Me: you can be such a meanie**

**Bella: why aren't you writing the story yet?**

**Me: 'cuz you just gave me my laptop back, shouldn't you be in your room facing Victoria?**

**Bella: Oh yeah, now that you mention it *walks out my room***

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**Chapter 3: Facing Reality.**

**BPOV:**

I knew this would happen, I knew I would die, I knew that vampires were going to be the death of me, but not this way I thought that I would die to exist for eternity, I gulped, my heart increased its beating rate, I am going to die, and I have no one to help me, no one to protect me, I'm all alone. Then I remembered maybe diying wouldn't be so bad, I wouldn't have to suffer anymore, I wouldn't have to fake smiles, and pretend that I'm doing fine anymore.

I took in a deep breath and sat up straight: " Before you kill me, let me fix something so that my dad thinks I ran away or something, I don't want him to have to see me dead, or clean up the mess," she looked taken aback.

-"aren't you at least threaten me about going to your little boyfriend, Edward?" she sneered as I flintch when she mentioned his name.

-"we both know that they left, otherwise you wouldn't be in my room, now would you?" I said taking my douffle bag out from under my bed. " I'll just 'pack' here some clothes so that my dad can fall for it, then I'll go downstairs and leave my goodbye letter and box in the living room, then you can take my car and drive us to wherever you want to kill me," I said opening the douffle bag, and she falshed out of my room and flashed back in.

-" I have your car keys," she said and showed them to me.

-" just wait for me in the car," I said grabbing random clothes from my closet and drawers, then I crouched towards the loose plank under which I had found all the things He hid from me, where I hide my letters to them, I took the box out and Victoria flashed out of the room once again.

Once she left I let a big tear run down my cheeck, I would never see my dad again, and I knew this would make him sad, tha he would blame himself for what happened to me with them, I let the tear run down because I would never see them ever again; I grabbed the douffle bag and drapped it over my left shoulder and walked downstairs as quietly as I could. I left the box with the letters on the table in the kitchen where I knew Charlie would see it, and walked out of the house and getting into the already on car, I was thankful that my truck had died and that I had to get a new means of transportation, because otherwise this 'escape' wouldn't have being able to occur if my truck was alive, with all the noise Charlie would have woke up along with the whole neighborhood.

-"you're not gonna try to run or ask for help or anything?" Vicoria asked as she drove away to my death.

-"why bother? No one is going to save me, besides you're actually doing me a favor," I said bored.

-"A favor?" she asked confused.

-" the only reason I haven't killed myself it's because I made a promised to Him, becasue I've been dead since they left, so I guess I should be thanking you for putting me out of my misery, I can't deal with the pain anymore," I sobbed bringing my hands up to my face.

-"then I guess we should do something about it because since Edward left, I have to find a way to make you and him pay," she said but I think it wasn't meant for me to hear because when I said: "well, the only thing I can think of doing that would be to turn me into a vampire, because he was so against it, and no wonder he didn't want to deal with me forever, I was just a toy to him and your James was killed because of me and He left me behind because I don't matter to him, I never did," I muttered under my breath, but of course that with all the super hearing she heard all of it.

-"James shouldn't be gone, he should be with me, all because of _you,_" she spitted the last word with all the venom she had.

-"He should have let James kill me back then, but why didn't he? I meant nothing to him, so why did he kill james to save me? To later let me get killed by you?" I said.

-" I don't know, or really care for that matter but I have an Idea of how to take my revenge on him," she said pulling over to the side of the road.

Once she completely stop the car, she got out and yanked my door open, told me to get out and dragged me to the woods after a few minutes of she dragging me and me tripping over roots and rocks , she decided to throw me over her back and took off running, I closed my eyes, and let the memories flow back to me, soon enough she let me go and I was droped to the floor, hitting my ass.

She started pacing back and forth in front of me, some time passed and I just sat there in the cold ground, waiting for her to decide how to kill me, she stopped abruptly and told me to get up and she just looked at me as I did what she recuested.

-" I'm just going to leave you dry, because I'm to thirsty to even think straight," she said this and for the first time since I saw her in my room did I noticed that her eyes were completely black, I just gulped, because I knew that it would be painful.

-" so just close your eyes," and I did as she told me, I closed my eyes and waited for her to kill me, to deny this dead soul a stop to it's misery, I could feel the cold ratiating off her body, and I never thought that I could enjoy the smell of the person that would take my life but she smelled like hot cocoa on a winter day **(An/ sorry if it doesn't make any sense, but it was the only thing that came to my mind at the time) **and that I would welcome it, I was finally going to be free of this pain.

I felt her teeth scratch the skin of my exposed neck, she sank her teeth in my neck and I couldn't help but scream, and open my eyes and the memory of how James had bitten me that day, months ago in Phoenix and how He came to my rescue flashed in front of my eyes. The pain was unbearable and I screamed and tried to push her back, but she was holding me in place there was nothing I could do to stop her, and as she fed **(An/ wasn't sure how to spell this word) **from me. I beging to feel light-headed and black specks appear in my sight, I began to feel weaker and weaker, my knees gave up but she was holding me up, the specks becomes bigger, blackening my sight, I closed my eyes too weak to keep them open and I heard a snap of a twig maybe? Maybe it was me but I felt nothing not even her sucking out my blood. She must have heard it to, because she looked away, she stopped sucking my blood and turned towards the sound, then she sank her teeth again into my neck a new round of pain flowed through me and I heard several growls, I was dropped to the ground and I laid there to weak to do anything, the pain like fire ran through me, making my already unberable pain even more intense, I wanted to be dead, to feel nothing.

And after a horrible scream, and the sound of metal being scrapped, did I realized that the venom was flowing through the little blood that I had left, that the pain, the horrid fire that I felt like comsumed my body and possibl turning it to ashed, was the transformation taking place. "No! Don't let me here! Kill me!" I wanted to scream but I wasn't sure if I was able to open my mouth let alone talk without screaming, I don't want this not anymore, I don't want to be like them, I don't want to live eternity with this pain and the constant reminder of what could have been, of not being with him. I smelled **(An/ I'm not even sure I this is the right way to say the past tense of smell)** smoke may this fire was me on fire but then why is it taking so long? If it wasn't me then it had to be Victoria, something killed Victoria, but what could have? They weren't here, they didn't care. Then I felt warmth wrap me, I was being lifted from the ground, I managed to whisppered "kill me, don't let me be like them, I don't want to be like them, please?".

Whoever was carrying me said something back, but the pain had increased and I couldn't hear what they said and I guess I passed out because all I remember is waking up, with no pain, and everything in the room was so clear, and defined, I could see everything, and I mean everything, every detail in the wood, the fabrics, the specks of dust floating in the air. I could hear everything, the wind blowing outside of the window, the birds, I heard no heart beats, but I could hear breaths. I also realized could hear the ocean, or waves crashing into rocks. Where was I and why was I here? Why wasn't I kill as I had asked? May they didn't hear me, or maybe I didn't say what I thought I did. And why was my throat on fire? Was this what he meant by thrist?

After a few seconds or minutes I heard steps just out side of the door, the smell of lilac and musky pepper mint intensified and a sense of anger flowed through me. Why did they let me be this? I heard a growl from the other side of the door and someone barked whoever to calm down. I wanted to get out, I wanted to attack whoever was outside the door, the sence of doom invaded my whole system, I crouch down just like they did that day in the baseball clearing, I did not expected to see Golden eyes staring at me when they opened the door, they all had Golden eyes but none of them was a Cullen, who are they? And why are they smiling?

* * *

**Sorry for the clify and I'm still not sure if I should keep writing this.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! I NEED REVIEWS!!!**

**I'll keep updating but if I don't get reviews by chapter 5 I'll quit what's the point in writing if noone is going to read this.**

**Sa-llie.**


	5. Chapter 4: who are you people?

**Disclaimer:**

**I own nothing, S.M. And her beautiful mind do... I'm sad, why couldn't I come up with twilight? Ah yes, I was to busy watching my Buffy the vampire slayer DVD collection. OHMYEDWARDCULLEN!!! I'm sorry Cullens, You know I love you, right? Right? OHMIGOD!! Emmett please don't let go of Rosalie until I'm in another continent, Edward STAY OUT OF MY MIND!!! that way she won't torture you, I'm sorry... I'm going to crawl to that corner and die I deserve to die, damn you Buffy, damn you......... **

* * *

**Chapter 4: who are you people?**

**BPOV:**

I saw their eyes, five pair of golden orbs, but slowly they changed colors, two pair of amber like eyes, two pair of purple eyes and lastly a pair of silver eyes. How is that possible? They smell so nicely, but never as my vampire family, the memory caused a wave of physical pain to surge through me, and I dropped to my knees clutching at my chest to force it to stay in one piece. One of them dropped to the floor a few miliseconds after I did, a blond girl with blue and red strikes in her short hair and amber like eyes, she too clutched at her chest gasping for air, then eventually my pain became too much to bare and I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head, and the pain seaced. I was back to the darkness, where all there was, is hot, liquid all around me.

I eventually came out of the darkness, and there was whispers all around me, I kept my eyes closed and heard what was going on around me.

-" That was the worst kind of pain I ever felt," a female voice claimed at my left. "I didn't know a vampire could actually pass out? From pain, I didn't know vampires could feel pain, not like hers," the same voice said.

-" she is different, very different," a male voice to my far right said.

I decided that it was enough of my spying, there was no need for me to listen to what other people said without them knowing that I was listening, Renée thought me better than that. I sat up looking around me, and was greeted by two pairs of amber eyes, two pairs of purple eyes, and a pair of silver eyes looking intently at me.

-" Hi!" said a girl with cropped dark brown, almost black hair, and purple eyes, smile at me.

-" What's your name?" said a boy with spiky, sandy blond hair and purple eyes too.

-" Look, I know what's going on, I know what I am, and I thought I knew what you are, but then you eyes changed color, so I no longer know what you are," I started to babble, something I tend to do when I'm nervous.

-" you know what you are?" another guy that was to my left asked. I turned to face them and simply said: "vampire" they all nodded and I asked: "which leads to, what are you?".

-" we too, are vampires," the girl with silver eyes, the one person that hasn't taken her eyes from me the whole time, she had been quiet, answered in a childish voice.

-" if you are then why are your eyes purple, amber, and silver? I thought that vampires eyes were either red from drinking human blood, or golden from drinking animal's blood, how come your eyes are different color if you are vampires?" I said.

-" Well that's because of my power," said the girl with brownish-black hair and purple eyes "I can change appereances, it's something called transmorphmification, or something like that," she shrugged.

-" Ok, let's us introduce ourselves," said the guy with the reddish-brown hair and amber eyes "I'm Damian, but I also go as Ian," he bowed.

-" I'm Luscia, but I also go as Lux, I'm also Ian's mate," said the girl with blond hair and with blue and red strikes in her short hair, she too had amber like eyes, she smiled shyly at me.

-" I'm Ferdinard but the family calls me Ferdi, Love, Dumbass, Dude, whatever they want so you as well may call me whatever you want," said the blond with spiky hair as he smiled so cheecky and innocent that he only reminded of my brother of a bear Emmett, and the pain in my chest came back and once again I passed out.

A few minutes later or hours maybe I woke up, to find the girl with big, fierce silver eyes and dark blue hair, watching intently at me, her eyes big and innocent as if they were searching for something in me, as if hoping something from me.

-" you are so pretty," she said in a childish voice, as she smiled brightly at me.

-" why were you searching in me?" I asked her as I got lost in her deep silver eyes.

-" how do you know that?" she whispered as her smile faltered and she looked away from me.

-" I don't know," I whispered back looking at my hands in my lap.

-" I didn't mean to do it, I swear, I can't help it, it's like you want me to know, I've never saw someone be able to draw me like you do, why? why do you pull me in?" she whispered now looking back at me.

-" Raysa, but I go by Ray or Ray-ray," she said sticking her hand out for me to shake it, I took it and introduced myself.

-" I'm Isabella, but I used to go by Bella, but now it huts to much to be called that so you can call me Ice," I said giving her a small smile.

-" Ok, Ice? why Ice? It's kinda cold, why does it hurt to be called Bella?" I flinched as she called me that bec ause her voice was somewhat like Alice's, Alice the pain again and again I fainted.

* * *

**Why is it that Ray is drawn to Bella? or should I say Ice?**

**why is it that Bella faints now that she is a vampire?**

**maybe we'll find out if I get reviews.........**

**I know that not all of the new vampires are introduced in here but they might in the next chapters.....because I need to have a chat with them and find out what are all of their powers and personalities but I'm sure that you'll like them because for a fact i know that Bella will be comparing the to the cullen's.**

**; ) Sa-llie.**


	6. Chapter 5:Getting to know them

****

Disclaimer:

**Me: *hidding behind my living room couch* Stop that!! **

**Ferdi: *stalks over with a creepy smile* You just have to say it.**

**Me: *shoock head* NO!, I don't want to!!**

**Ferdi: *stalks closer* Come on Sa-llie, you just have to say it.**

**Me: but you said that you belonged to me *pouts, in a whisper***

**Lehana: Excuse you? *asks in a scoff* He belongs to me! *throwing daggers at me with her purple eyes ***

**Me: Lee, that's not what I meant * I shrudder* what I meant was that I own all of the Russo's clan members, but Bella. **

***All the members gather around me looking angry***

**Bella: What's did you just say? *flashes her teeth, in a not so friendly manner***

**Me: *scarred shitless, trembling, surrounded by vampires* wh-what I-I meant w-was that I own you, Russo clan not including Ice, only her amazing gifts?**

**Ferdi: Oh, Sa-llie, you just have to say it and we'll leave you alone. * cue, creepy smile* or I'll tickle you. *wiggles his fingers towards me***

**Me: *even more scarred than before* you wouldn't dare.**

**Ferdi: *starts to tickle me* Come on, Sa-llie, you just have to say it.**

**Me: *laughing, real hard, trying to push him away* Stop it,*Laughs* STOP IT!! *turning purple* I can't breath!!**

**Ferdi: just say it *keeps tickling me***

**Me: Alright, alright *stops tickling me, I take a deep breath* I don't own twilight, that belongs to S.M. I only own the Russo's and Ice, cuz she's so cool. **

**Ferdi: see? that wasn't hard, now was it? *stands, and starts to walk away***

**Me: why can't I ever get my way? Why do you guys always make me say it?**

**Ferdi: *turns around to face me* It's always fun toturing you into saying it *cheecky grin* if you just say it on your own accord we wouldn't go through this all the time.**

**Me: you just mean to me *sniff* first you take all the space in my room, then Ice takes my laptop, then Raysa won't let me sleep, then you tickle me, it's not fair *pouts***

**Bella: why aren't you writing the story?**

**Me: let me sulk in peace, Ice.**

**Bella: *hands me the laptop* Write, NOW!**

**Me: Ok..... * alone in the room* bunch of meanies.... *sulking***

* * *

**Chapter 6: Home?**

**BPOV:**

A knock on the door brought me to consciousness. Walked towards the door, but the thoughts floaded my brain_,....I just want to know how, she's doing, it's been 5 hours since she locked herself in her room....._ it was Raysa. I opened the door and she looked kinda lost, her eyes held so much loneliness, for some reason I wanted to hold her, protect her.

-" Hi, Ice," she said shifting on her feet, it must have been out of habit since we as vampires can't ever get tiired of a position, the perfect stillness of a statue.

-" Hi, Raysa, you wanted something?" I asked hearing what her thoughts said …._I was alone in the house, and I was worried about you, and I really don't want to be by myself in the house...._

-" I wanted to know how you were doing? See if you maybe wanted to talk...." she drifted off.

I didn't want to talk, I wanted to sulk. But something about this girl wanted to know why she wanted to talk, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to take away the lost look in her eyes, I wanted to know why did she felt drawn to me? Why did I felt drawn to her? Why I wanted to hold her? I let her in, and she walked towards a rocking-chair across from the bed, I waited for her to sit, but she didn't, she just stood there looking at it. She turned slowly to look at me her eyes, were different, they weren't of the little girl I felt I needed to protect, they were complety black, hungry, crazy.

-" Ray are you ok?" I asked concerned for her earlier she seemed so lost, and confused, now she looked scarry, she actually scarred me. She was angry, her teeth bared and she was crouching in front of me. I I tasted something vile in my mouth, I wanted to sspit it out, then I began to feel very angry, but why? I wanted her to calm down and I wanted myself to calm down. I wanted to know why I suddenly felt so mad, and what was that vile taste in my mouth, because it surely wasn't my venom, the venom was sickly sweet, even to me.

She closed eyes, and her body went all rigid, like a statue. I could listen her inner debate_,.... No! It's not her, she's not mother, she's not her, she's Ice, not mother....._ what did she meant by that? I'm not her mother? What is that about? Maybe she'll want to talk about it? Then suddenly a flash in front of my eyes, _what the hell was that? _I blinked furiously, but then again the flash, flashing images in front of my eyes.

_**I saw Raysa, her body shaking with tearless sobs, me soothing her, me calling her baby, while petting her hair. **_

I came back to reality. _What the hell was that?_ I saw Raysa slightly shaking, and something like a wave hit my body, I turned around to look at what had collided with my body, but there was nothing there, then the same vile taste was present in my mouth, and a new one to this one was bitter, mixing in together, a bitter and sour mix. I was angry and sad at the same time for no apparent reason_, what the hell it's going on here? _I kept asking myself. I wanted to calm down I wanted Raysa to calm down and to stop shaking. I closed my eyes and thought of my happy place, and found myself at the meadow, our meadow wrapped in His arms and him whispering sweet nothings into my ears, I started to feel relaxed and as I opened my eyes a sky blue fog surrounded me, and floated in the room, as soon as it reached Raysa, she became relaxed and stopped shaking she opened her eyes, she gave me a sad smile.

-" What did you do?" she asked me, looking at her feet.

-" I don't know," I answered her truthfully, I didn't know what was going on, how did she spected me to answer her that question, when I myself asked it. " Ray, do you want to talk about something? I couldn't help to hear that you said that I wasn't you mother? You want to talk about that?" I asked her. She didn't looked at me, but nodded.

-" I don't want to lie to you, but I've never told this to anyone, ever," she whispered. I understood, she was confiding in me, something that she had kept a secret for a period of time. We both sat on the edge of the bed. She took an unnecessary breath " when I was turned into a vampire, it wasn't an option for me I thought I was going to die; I used to live in Czechoslovakia, with my mother, she looked like you, but older and she had blue eyes," Raysa said this and I remembered Reneé, I did look like her but she had blue eyes, and obviously she was older than me. " táta wasn't in the country at the time, he was in a business trip that week, and mami and I went to the marked to buy fish for dinner because táta was coming that night, but on our way back we were attacked by a vampire, and she..."I had no idea of who táta was, but she was upset, and just wanted to get those things out, her body shaked with the sobbed that escaped her chest "...she threw me to him, she said: 'take her, don't kill me, take her' she gave me away like a sack of potatoes, after all the times she said that she loved me, she threw me to my death," she sobbed again " she always treaded me like she was an older sister rather than my mother, but how could she do that? I was only 13, how was I supposed to defend myself?" she cried, with tearless sobs.

-" I'm so sorry," I said to her, patting her on the back, " but I know what it's like to have a person that is supposed to take care of you, be the one that has to be taken care of by you. My mother, Reneé, she is like that, I was the one taking care of her rather than her taking care of me, but I knew she loved me, she would never do that to me," I said to her not sure that it would help her.

-" Could you pretend that you're her for a little while, just hold me," she whispered, I pulled her closer to me and wrapped her shoulders with my arms, she cuddled into my chest, and I pulled her into my lap, I petted her hair, and tried to shush her.

I rocked her, and hush her. I started to hum a song that I only heard in my dreams, my lullaby. She calmed down, I felt the same pang of pain and sadness again, I don't know what took over me, but I started to talk to her.

-" I'm so sorry, baby girl, I shouldn't have done that, It should have been me, I should have protected you, and I didn't. I'm so sorry, I did that, if only I could go back and fix it," I whispered in her ear. To which she replied: " Byl jsem tak strach mami," **(A/N: that's: I was so scared mamma, in czech whatever Ray's answer is not in english will be in Czech unless said otherwise)**

**-" **I know, baby, I know, I'm so sorry, It should have been me," I told her again, eventhough I had no idea of what she had said. And just like in whatever it was that flashed in front of my eyes, I was petting her hair.

-"Proč jsi to udělala, mami?"**(A/N: why did you do it, momma?)** she asked, I had no idea of what she asked but I think she was asking why?

-" I was scarred too, but I shouldn't have done that, please forgive me," I asked her in whispers.

-"Samozřejmě jsem si odpustit, miluji tě, mami hloupá," **(A/N: ****Of course, I forgive you, I love you, silly Mom).**

-" Thank you, baby. Thank you," I kissed her forhead, I wasn't sure what had make want to protect her in the beginning, but after seeing her so vulnerable so hurt and broken I knew that I would protect her of any further pain, I no longer was a weak human I could take care of her, and protect her.

**-"** Jsem tobě stýskalo," **(A/N: I've missed you) **she whispered.

-" I'm not going anywhere," I said as she clutched on to my shirt. " I'm not leaving you Ray-ray," I said kissing her forhead again.

She looked up to my face and pulling away, " really? Your not leaving me?" and I heard …._please don't leave me, I already lost you once, please don't go again.... _she begged me to stay in her mind. I felt so bad for this little girl all she wanted was for someone to take care of her unlike she had done this pass week, I saw her taking care of everyone else, she was mothering everyone in the house, when she needed to be taken care off.

-" I'm not leaving you, if I ever get tired of all of this and decide to go, I'll take you with me," I thought for a while as she cuddled once more into my chest. "Ray?" she hummed an answer. "would you like me to be your mom?" I asked her, not know if she would like that idea, if it would hurt her or how she would react to it.

-" You would be my máma?"she asked with hope entwined with hope and happiness.

She was happy and all I wanted to do was make her happy, so I nodded eagerly. Her smile was beaming at hugged herself to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and grabbing the back of my shirt.

-" Ray what was your mother's name?" I asked her petting het hair again.

-" Misha...." she said sadly.

-" Would you mind if I used that name? Instead of Ice? That way it would be easier for school and all," I said to her hoping that listening to her mother's nam ewouldn't cause her a break down every time someone called me.

-" I don't mind at all, but if your new name is going to be Misha, can I call you matka?" she looked up to me but didn't pulled away, she was sniffing my neck?

-" what does that mean?" I asked her.

-" It means, mother," she said ashamed, holding tighter into the hug.

-" Awww, ok, how did she used to call you when you were a little girl? You know like princess and other stuff?" I asked her rubbing her back.

-" Krásný mimino," **(A/N: beautiful, baby)**she said softly.

-" Can I call you that?" I asked her.

She nodded slowly, I heard in her mind …._Thank you, I really wanted to have a mother, I really wanted somebody to care for me, thank you, Matka, Jsem tobě stýskalo; I've missed you...._ she was so grateful, I was happy that I could make someone happy. After a little while of me holding her like that and some legal talk about rearrenging my legal, not so legal documents and I was going to be called Misha Veruska Novak, I was going to be Raysa's older twin, at school and at the house she would be my mimino **(A/N: mimino means baby) **she promised me to teach me Czech.

When the others members of the family came back from their 'alone' time, we told them about how I would change my name to Misha Veruska Novak, Raysa's older twin. I apologized to Luscia for having to do all the paper work all over, she dismissed it saying that Misha was more fitted to me than Ice.

After a couple of hours I learned that they had moved and had started to attend Forks high school, but I had been so wrapped in my own pain that I hadn't realized we had new students in school, I really was out of the loop. Ian, Ferdi, Lux and Lehana were attending junior and sophmore year and that Raysa was a work at home older sister, she was a composer who sells her lyrics to big record companies.

Sometime passed and I wanted to be able to go out to do something other than hunting, I wanted to go out, really test my control over the bloodlust, I wanted to walk around, shop, see, do something, anything other than being locked in the house, the house was great and old but I got bored, I wanted books, I wanted to go to the library. I wanted to start new.

After the whole Matka and mimino conversation Raysa was rarely away from me, if I was in a room she was right next to me, or somewhere near me. I caught up with the Czech lessons she taught me, was something to do while the others were at school, by bow I was almost as fluent as her, since all of our conversations were in Czech, the others got annoyed about since they didn't want us to talk in Czech all the time, and so discretly, they wanted for us to stop whispering and giggling all the time, she also moved to my room since she never wanted to be away from me, not that I mind I was never alone, even though sometimes I did felt lonely.

Two months passed quickly and summer vacation came, and during that time I learned Czech, learned that the flashes of bright lights were visions, that when the lights around me dimed I was seeing the past of the person next to me, the weird tastes in my mouth were the emotions of the people around me and that the odd waves of coloured fog around a person were their emotions, I was absorving the gifts around me, now I can read minds, change the appearance of things, communicate with telepathy (that's Ian's gift), I could shield physically and mentally (Ferdi's gift), create, and give/take gifts to and from people.

I was learning to control my gifts and giving and taking gifts to the family, as rewards and punishment, they did behave like little kids, not teenagers but ten year old, boys and girls. I somehow ended up taking over the role of being the clan's leader since Raysa was so glad that someone other than her was responsible enough to be an authority in the house.

We decided to move to Italy as a new home, somewhere near Volturi, but not there just outside of town in a huge house, just on the out skirts of town near the woods so we could go hunting without being seen, this time Ian and Lux were an 40-something year old couple with a 17 year old boy, a 16 year old adopted girl and 14 year old twins. Life was easy, and sometimes boring, but I could only complain about the gap in my chest where my heart should have been, and the horrible pain that invaded me whenever I tought about the Cullens, the guys, and over all Raysa helped me to get over the Cullens, the pain was still there, but I no longer fainted when I thought of the Cullens or Edward, I no longer felt sad, but mad, oh so mad.

I was doing fine, we were doing fine, and school was going to be fine. We were just out side of school waiting for our 'parents' to get out of the black Nissan Altima so that they could sign us into school, when a Silver Volvo made its presence known, I had a flash back, then the Volvo was followed by a red BMW. Oh. My. God.

...._This can't be happening.... _I thought I pulled my shields around all the members of my family, the family turned to look at me when they felt the tingles of the shields I had placed on them. They didn't talk but I heard their questions.

…._Misha what's going on?.... _Ferdi asked mentally

…_.Misha why did you pulled your shield over us...._ Lux asked.

…_.Misha, are you ok?.... _Lehana asked.

…._Misha, what happened, did you see something?.... _Ian asked.

…_.Matka, __co se děje?...._**(A/N:what's going on?)**Raysa asked.

_-" They're here" _I saidusing mytelepathy, to all of them. They turned to look in the direction I was looking to find 5 vampires with golden orbs, getting off their shiny cars, and suddenly a pixie like girl with raven spiked hair, waved at me, or us? She smiled brightly as she skipped towards us. I started to panick, sending panicky waves towards the members of my family.

…_.Misha, they don't know it's you, they think it's just another clan, you don't look like Bella, you look like Ray? Just calm down.... _Ian said.

As they got close Edward, Jasper, and Alice started to frown and they all looked between each other shaking their head as Emmett Greeted u s with his bookming voice. Oh. God. Here. We. Go.

* * *

**I know that it's not what you expected, but isn't that bad is it?**

**Anyways, I had to do this because I just didn't want to wait for three more chapter as originally intended but I resumed and fast fowarded and here we got this last parragraphs, I do get distracted easily and it was the easiest way to get the Cullens into the story.... Let me know what you think...... ; ) sa-llie. **


	7. Chapter 6: Home?

****

Disclaimer:

**Me: *hidding behind my living room couch* Stop that!! **

**Ferdi: *stalks over with a creepy smile* You just have to say it.**

**Me: *shoock head* NO!, I don't want to!!**

**Ferdi: *stalks closer* Come on Sa-llie, you just have to say it.**

**Me: but you said that you belonged to me *pouts, in a whisper***

**Lehana: Excuse you? *asks in a scoff* He belongs to me! *throwing daggers at me with her purple eyes ***

**Me: Lee, that's not what I meant * I shrudder* what I meant was that I own all of the Russo's clan members, but Bella. **

***All the members gather around me looking angry***

**Bella: What's did you just say? *flashes her teeth, in a not so friendly manner***

**Me: *scarred shitless, trembling, surrounded by vampires* wh-what I-I meant w-was that I own you, Russo clan not including Ice, only her amazing gifts?**

**Ferdi: Oh, Sa-llie, you just have to say it and we'll leave you alone. * cue, creepy smile* or I'll tickle you. *wiggles his fingers towards me***

**Me: *even more scarred than before* you wouldn't dare.**

**Ferdi: *starts to tickle me* Come on, Sa-llie, you just have to say it.**

**Me: *laughing, real hard, trying to push him away* Stop it,*Laughs* STOP IT!! *turning purple* I can't breath!!**

**Ferdi: just say it *keeps tickling me***

**Me: Alright, alright *stops tickling me, I take a deep breath* I don't own twilight, that belongs to S.M. I only own the Russo's and Ice, cuz she's so cool. **

**Ferdi: see? that wasn't hard, now was it? *stands, and starts to walk away***

**Me: why can't I ever get my way? Why do you guys always make me say it?**

**Ferdi: *turns around to face me* It's always fun toturing you into saying it *cheecky grin* if you just say it on your own accord we wouldn't go through this all the time.**

**Me: you just mean to me *sniff* first you take all the space in my room, then Ice takes my laptop, then Raysa won't let me sleep, then you tickle me, it's not fair *pouts***

**Bella: why aren't you writing the story?**

**Me: let me sulk in peace, Ice.**

**Bella: *hands me the laptop* Write, NOW!**

**Me: Ok..... * alone in the room* bunch of meanies.... *sulking***

* * *

**Chapter 6: Home?**

**BPOV:**

A knock on the door brought me to consciousness. Walked towards the door, but the thoughts floaded my brain_,....I just want to know how, she's doing, it's been 5 hours since she locked herself in her room....._ it was Raysa. I opened the door and she looked kinda lost, her eyes held so much loneliness, for some reason I wanted to hold her, protect her.

-" Hi, Ice," she said shifting on her feet, it must have been out of habit since we as vampires can't ever get tiired of a position, the perfect stillness of a statue.

-" Hi, Raysa, you wanted something?" I asked hearing what her thoughts said …._I was alone in the house, and I was worried about you, and I really don't want to be by myself in the house...._

-" I wanted to know how you were doing? See if you maybe wanted to talk...." she drifted off.

I didn't want to talk, I wanted to sulk. But something about this girl wanted to know why she wanted to talk, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to take away the lost look in her eyes, I wanted to know why did she felt drawn to me? Why did I felt drawn to her? Why I wanted to hold her? I let her in, and she walked towards a rocking-chair across from the bed, I waited for her to sit, but she didn't, she just stood there looking at it. She turned slowly to look at me her eyes, were different, they weren't of the little girl I felt I needed to protect, they were complety black, hungry, crazy.

-" Ray are you ok?" I asked concerned for her earlier she seemed so lost, and confused, now she looked scarry, she actually scarred me. She was angry, her teeth bared and she was crouching in front of me. I I tasted something vile in my mouth, I wanted to sspit it out, then I began to feel very angry, but why? I wanted her to calm down and I wanted myself to calm down. I wanted to know why I suddenly felt so mad, and what was that vile taste in my mouth, because it surely wasn't my venom, the venom was sickly sweet, even to me.

She closed eyes, and her body went all rigid, like a statue. I could listen her inner debate_,.... No! It's not her, she's not mother, she's not her, she's Ice, not mother....._ what did she meant by that? I'm not her mother? What is that about? Maybe she'll want to talk about it? Then suddenly a flash in front of my eyes, _what the hell was that? _I blinked furiously, but then again the flash, flashing images in front of my eyes.

_**I saw Raysa, her body shaking with tearless sobs, me soothing her, me calling her baby, while petting her hair. **_

I came back to reality. _What the hell was that?_ I saw Raysa slightly shaking, and something like a wave hit my body, I turned around to look at what had collided with my body, but there was nothing there, then the same vile taste was present in my mouth, and a new one to this one was bitter, mixing in together, a bitter and sour mix. I was angry and sad at the same time for no apparent reason_, what the hell it's going on here? _I kept asking myself. I wanted to calm down I wanted Raysa to calm down and to stop shaking. I closed my eyes and thought of my happy place, and found myself at the meadow, our meadow wrapped in His arms and him whispering sweet nothings into my ears, I started to feel relaxed and as I opened my eyes a sky blue fog surrounded me, and floated in the room, as soon as it reached Raysa, she became relaxed and stopped shaking she opened her eyes, she gave me a sad smile.

-" What did you do?" she asked me, looking at her feet.

-" I don't know," I answered her truthfully, I didn't know what was going on, how did she spected me to answer her that question, when I myself asked it. " Ray, do you want to talk about something? I couldn't help to hear that you said that I wasn't you mother? You want to talk about that?" I asked her. She didn't looked at me, but nodded.

-" I don't want to lie to you, but I've never told this to anyone, ever," she whispered. I understood, she was confiding in me, something that she had kept a secret for a period of time. We both sat on the edge of the bed. She took an unnecessary breath " when I was turned into a vampire, it wasn't an option for me I thought I was going to die; I used to live in Czechoslovakia, with my mother, she looked like you, but older and she had blue eyes," Raysa said this and I remembered Reneé, I did look like her but she had blue eyes, and obviously she was older than me. " táta wasn't in the country at the time, he was in a business trip that week, and mami and I went to the marked to buy fish for dinner because táta was coming that night, but on our way back we were attacked by a vampire, and she..."I had no idea of who táta was, but she was upset, and just wanted to get those things out, her body shaked with the sobbed that escaped her chest "...she threw me to him, she said: 'take her, don't kill me, take her' she gave me away like a sack of potatoes, after all the times she said that she loved me, she threw me to my death," she sobbed again " she always treaded me like she was an older sister rather than my mother, but how could she do that? I was only 13, how was I supposed to defend myself?" she cried, with tearless sobs.

-" I'm so sorry," I said to her, patting her on the back, " but I know what it's like to have a person that is supposed to take care of you, be the one that has to be taken care of by you. My mother, Reneé, she is like that, I was the one taking care of her rather than her taking care of me, but I knew she loved me, she would never do that to me," I said to her not sure that it would help her.

-" Could you pretend that you're her for a little while, just hold me," she whispered, I pulled her closer to me and wrapped her shoulders with my arms, she cuddled into my chest, and I pulled her into my lap, I petted her hair, and tried to shush her.

I rocked her, and hush her. I started to hum a song that I only heard in my dreams, my lullaby. She calmed down, I felt the same pang of pain and sadness again, I don't know what took over me, but I started to talk to her.

-" I'm so sorry, baby girl, I shouldn't have done that, It should have been me, I should have protected you, and I didn't. I'm so sorry, I did that, if only I could go back and fix it," I whispered in her ear. To which she replied: " Byl jsem tak strach mami," **(A/N: that's: I was so scared mamma, in czech whatever Ray's answer is not in english will be in Czech unless said otherwise)**

**-" **I know, baby, I know, I'm so sorry, It should have been me," I told her again, eventhough I had no idea of what she had said. And just like in whatever it was that flashed in front of my eyes, I was petting her hair.

-"Proč jsi to udělala, mami?"**(A/N: why did you do it, momma?)** she asked, I had no idea of what she asked but I think she was asking why?

-" I was scarred too, but I shouldn't have done that, please forgive me," I asked her in whispers.

-"Samozřejmě jsem si odpustit, miluji tě, mami hloupá," **(A/N: ****Of course, I forgive you, I love you, silly Mom).**

-" Thank you, baby. Thank you," I kissed her forhead, I wasn't sure what had make want to protect her in the beginning, but after seeing her so vulnerable so hurt and broken I knew that I would protect her of any further pain, I no longer was a weak human I could take care of her, and protect her.

**-"** Jsem tobě stýskalo," **(A/N: I've missed you) **she whispered.

-" I'm not going anywhere," I said as she clutched on to my shirt. " I'm not leaving you Ray-ray," I said kissing her forhead again.

She looked up to my face and pulling away, " really? Your not leaving me?" and I heard …._please don't leave me, I already lost you once, please don't go again.... _she begged me to stay in her mind. I felt so bad for this little girl all she wanted was for someone to take care of her unlike she had done this pass week, I saw her taking care of everyone else, she was mothering everyone in the house, when she needed to be taken care off.

-" I'm not leaving you, if I ever get tired of all of this and decide to go, I'll take you with me," I thought for a while as she cuddled once more into my chest. "Ray?" she hummed an answer. "would you like me to be your mom?" I asked her, not know if she would like that idea, if it would hurt her or how she would react to it.

-" You would be my máma?"she asked with hope entwined with hope and happiness.

She was happy and all I wanted to do was make her happy, so I nodded eagerly. Her smile was beaming at hugged herself to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and grabbing the back of my shirt.

-" Ray what was your mother's name?" I asked her petting het hair again.

-" Misha...." she said sadly.

-" Would you mind if I used that name? Instead of Ice? That way it would be easier for school and all," I said to her hoping that listening to her mother's nam ewouldn't cause her a break down every time someone called me.

-" I don't mind at all, but if your new name is going to be Misha, can I call you matka?" she looked up to me but didn't pulled away, she was sniffing my neck?

-" what does that mean?" I asked her.

-" It means, mother," she said ashamed, holding tighter into the hug.

-" Awww, ok, how did she used to call you when you were a little girl? You know like princess and other stuff?" I asked her rubbing her back.

-" Krásný mimino," **(A/N: beautiful, baby)**she said softly.

-" Can I call you that?" I asked her.

She nodded slowly, I heard in her mind …._Thank you, I really wanted to have a mother, I really wanted somebody to care for me, thank you, Matka, Jsem tobě stýskalo; I've missed you...._ she was so grateful, I was happy that I could make someone happy. After a little while of me holding her like that and some legal talk about rearrenging my legal, not so legal documents and I was going to be called Misha Veruska Novak, I was going to be Raysa's older twin, at school and at the house she would be my mimino **(A/N: mimino means baby) **she promised me to teach me Czech.

When the others members of the family came back from their 'alone' time, we told them about how I would change my name to Misha Veruska Novak, Raysa's older twin. I apologized to Luscia for having to do all the paper work all over, she dismissed it saying that Misha was more fitted to me than Ice.

After a couple of hours I learned that they had moved and had started to attend Forks high school, but I had been so wrapped in my own pain that I hadn't realized we had new students in school, I really was out of the loop. Ian, Ferdi, Lux and Lehana were attending junior and sophmore year and that Raysa was a work at home older sister, she was a composer who sells her lyrics to big record companies.

Sometime passed and I wanted to be able to go out to do something other than hunting, I wanted to go out, really test my control over the bloodlust, I wanted to walk around, shop, see, do something, anything other than being locked in the house, the house was great and old but I got bored, I wanted books, I wanted to go to the library. I wanted to start new.

After the whole Matka and mimino conversation Raysa was rarely away from me, if I was in a room she was right next to me, or somewhere near me. I caught up with the Czech lessons she taught me, was something to do while the others were at school, by bow I was almost as fluent as her, since all of our conversations were in Czech, the others got annoyed about since they didn't want us to talk in Czech all the time, and so discretly, they wanted for us to stop whispering and giggling all the time, she also moved to my room since she never wanted to be away from me, not that I mind I was never alone, even though sometimes I did felt lonely.

Two months passed quickly and summer vacation came, and during that time I learned Czech, learned that the flashes of bright lights were visions, that when the lights around me dimed I was seeing the past of the person next to me, the weird tastes in my mouth were the emotions of the people around me and that the odd waves of coloured fog around a person were their emotions, I was absorving the gifts around me, now I can read minds, change the appearance of things, communicate with telepathy (that's Ian's gift), I could shield physically and mentally (Ferdi's gift), create, and give/take gifts to and from people.

I was learning to control my gifts and giving and taking gifts to the family, as rewards and punishment, they did behave like little kids, not teenagers but ten year old, boys and girls. I somehow ended up taking over the role of being the clan's leader since Raysa was so glad that someone other than her was responsible enough to be an authority in the house.

We decided to move to Italy as a new home, somewhere near Volturi, but not there just outside of town in a huge house, just on the out skirts of town near the woods so we could go hunting without being seen, this time Ian and Lux were an 40-something year old couple with a 17 year old boy, a 16 year old adopted girl and 14 year old twins. Life was easy, and sometimes boring, but I could only complain about the gap in my chest where my heart should have been, and the horrible pain that invaded me whenever I tought about the Cullens, the guys, and over all Raysa helped me to get over the Cullens, the pain was still there, but I no longer fainted when I thought of the Cullens or Edward, I no longer felt sad, but mad, oh so mad.

I was doing fine, we were doing fine, and school was going to be fine. We were just out side of school waiting for our 'parents' to get out of the black Nissan Altima so that they could sign us into school, when a Silver Volvo made its presence known, I had a flash back, then the Volvo was followed by a red BMW. Oh. My. God.

...._This can't be happening.... _I thought I pulled my shields around all the members of my family, the family turned to look at me when they felt the tingles of the shields I had placed on them. They didn't talk but I heard their questions.

…._Misha what's going on?.... _Ferdi asked mentally

…_.Misha why did you pulled your shield over us...._ Lux asked.

…_.Misha, are you ok?.... _Lehana asked.

…._Misha, what happened, did you see something?.... _Ian asked.

…_.Matka, __co se děje?...._**(A/N:what's going on?)**Raysa asked.

_-" They're here" _I saidusing mytelepathy, to all of them. They turned to look in the direction I was looking to find 5 vampires with golden orbs, getting off their shiny cars, and suddenly a pixie like girl with raven spiked hair, waved at me, or us? She smiled brightly as she skipped towards us. I started to panick, sending panicky waves towards the members of my family.

…_.Misha, they don't know it's you, they think it's just another clan, you don't look like Bella, you look like Ray? Just calm down.... _Ian said.

As they got close Edward, Jasper, and Alice started to frown and they all looked between each other shaking their head as Emmett Greeted u s with his bookming voice. Oh. God. Here. We. Go.

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**I know that it's not what you expected, but isn't that bad is it?**

**Anyways, I had to do this because I just didn't want to wait for three more chapter as originally intended but I resumed and fast fowarded and here we got this last parragraphs, I do get distracted easily and it was the easiest way to get the Cullens into the story.... Let me know what you think...... ; ) sa-llie. **


	8. Chapter 7: unknown reunion

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: NO!! Leave me alone! I'm not going with you.**

**Alice: Come on, do you really think that a locked door is going to stop me from taking you shopping? *says through the door***

**Me: please don't make me go.**

**Alice: we have to go, you really need new, more fashionable clothes.**

**Me: Please Alice don't make me go, I can't take 6 hours of shopping, take someone else, please take Misha, of Rosalie, or Lehana, or Lux, just please leave me alone!!**

**Alice: No!! you're coming with me.**

**Me: Misha!? I'll start writing the story if you make Alice to leave me alone.**

**Bella: * telepathy* Deal.**

**Alice: Oh no, you're coming with me * breaks the bathroom door***

**Me: Oh man, Dad is going to kill me. Why Alice? I'm going to have to pay for that door. *pouts***

**Alice: doesn't matter because I'm taking you shopping *cue, wicked grin***

**Me: Please don't make me go, I don't have money, plus now I have to pay for that broken door**

**Bella: Hey Alice!**

**Alice: Hi Misha! Wanna drag Sa-llie to the mall and torture her with shopping? * smiles sweetly to Misha* **

**Bella: sorry Alice but Sa-llie has a story to write.**

**Me: that's what I told her before I locked myself in the bathroom, that currently has a broken door.**

**Bella: how about we go shopping and leave Sa-llie to write the story. * turns to me* you better make it worth 6 hours of shopping, ok?**

**Me****: ****ano, matka (A/N: yes, mother)**

**Bella: Come on Alice, let's go.**

**Alice: but she's the one that needs it.**

**Bella: come on now, let her write.**

**Alice: at least let me make her say it,**

**Bella: fine, go ahead.**

**Alice: * turns to face me* Say it * she sang***

**Me: ok, I don't own Twilight, or it's characters theose belong to S.M. * turn to face Alice* Now leave, let me write... shoo, go on.**

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**Chapter 7: unknown reunion.**

**BPOV:**

Here. They were here, all of the Cullens 'kids'. Right in front of me, but all of them didn't seem to recognize me other than the confused expressions on Jasper, Alice, and Edward. That's a very good thing, all of my family were saying things to keep me calmed, they all knew about the Cullens and about Edward. And they all seem to be protective of me, actually they were all very protective of their family members.

-" Ciao, vi"**(A/N: Hello, there)** Emmett greeted in Italian with his booming voice, as they approched us. As soon as I placed my shield over the members of my family, I saw jasper, Edward and Alice started frowing, I listened to their mind and they all were asking why they couldn't, see our future, or listened to any of our thoughts, or feel our emotions.

…_.Mish, they don't know who we are, for all I can hear from Edward and the others they just want to __let us know of who they are, and how they behave, Alice seems giddy that she found two girls that are her height, and Rosalie just wants to get over the introductions and move on, she seems very distracted with you image of Bella, she misses you? I thought you said she didn't like you?.... _said Ian in my head.

-" Ciao, come stai?" **(A/N: hi, how do you do?)**Ian replied, taking his role as the father, and head of the family.

-"Stiamo , siamo i Cullen, ci siamo trasferiti di recente"**(A/N: we're fine. Thanks, we're the Cullens, we moved recently)** said Alice happily. Focusing her eyes on Raysa and I. I was getting really scared, had she already find out who I was? Edward's eyes never left my face, he stared at me so intendly I was freaking out, could my shield not be as effective as I thought it was? Had he heard something that made him suppect who I really was? I wanted to hug him, but I knew he didn't wanted me, so I grounded myself and stayed in my place. He didn't want me, he left me. I had to stay grounded, they didn't want me that's why none of them said goodbe, not Esme, nor Carlisle, nor Emmett, nor Alice. They. Didn't . Want. Me.

-" Bambini, andare a scuola ci vediamo presso la sede," **(A/N: Kids,go on to school we'll meet you at the main office) **said Lux taking her role as mother nudging me forwards to go. Knowing that she knew how I was freaking out. And indeed I was freaking out, they were so close, and so far away, at the same time, I haven't heal, I miss them still, yes I was angry at them for playing with my emotions, ….no pun intended.... but they made me feel like I belonged somewhere, with them.

-" Sì, mamma," **(A/N: Yes, mother) **we all said at the same time, like we always do. It was true I did get used to them talking at the same time. And we all headed to the school. Why did they send us away? Why would they want to talk to the Cullens without us being there present?

Using Ian's gift to talk to them and using Lux's gift to share our conversation._....Why did you send us away? Why not stay with you? Strength in number and what not?.... _I asked them. I really didn't want to leave now, yeah they didn't know who I was, but I knew who they were. Alice never took her eyes from me and Raysa, and Edward didn't look at anyone else but me, staring into my now silver eyes, I got instantly lost into his liquid topaz orbs, I came back to reality as Ray tugged on my hand and we walked to the school.

…_.We did that because, seriously Mish, you were starting to make me panicky, and we needed to stay calm, and there's no way we were leaving you go alone.... _Lux said as I heard Iand introduce himself anf Lux and the rest of us to the Cullens in Italian.

…_.We're not leaving you Mish, we're here to protect you...._ Lehana and Ferdi said at the same time.

…_.__Matka, nebojte se, že jsme tady. Jsme jedno, staráme, máme chránit ty..._**(A/N: mother, do not worry, we're here. We're one, we care, we protect you) **Raysa said wrapping her arms around my waist as we walked through the front doors of the school.

…_.__Jsem v pořádku, není třeba se starat o mně, pokud jsem někoho se mnou celou tu dobu budu v pořádku...._**(A/N: I am fine, no need to worry about me, as long as I have someone with me all the ****time I'll be fine) **I said to her. I tried to smile, but the fear of being found out was eating me alive, or dead? Or whatever...

The bell rang and we stood outside of the main office for Lux and Ian, to return and sign us in. As soon as the hallways cleared we saw Lux and Ian, walking to us they weren't smiling as they usually do. Something's wrong.

-" What's going on?" I asked them, I started freaking out again. Did they found out? Did Alice saw who I was? Did they know? My eyes grew big, and my whole body tensed, as I scanned our future of any form of confrontation with the Cullens, but nothing, Ian was blocking me, using his mind control to lure me into look for something else, distracting me.

-" Misha relax,"Lux said, placing her hands on my shoulders.

-" They don't know who you are, I simply introduced you as your 'legal' name, Misha, and the rest of us, Alice asked if she could be yours and Ray's friend to take you shopping and whatnot, to which Lux answered that she would have to ask you to be your friend, she said," he said smiling brightly at her " that they would have to befriend you themselves, and the one thing that was major impact was that they asked us to come over to their house to meet Carlisle, their clan leader, and their mother Esme," he said grim.

-" That's fine," I said calm, maybe they didn't know who I was. I didn't know how I managed to stay calm, because I was still freaking out, why did Alice wanted to be my friend again? Would she lie this time around? Did I want to be her friend? Should I even tried to befriend them? They are going to leave again and leave me behind again, so why be a masochist? And allow them to be near me? Besides I haven't forgive them, if they wanted to be back into my life, or now existence? They would have to pay for the pain they inflicted on me, I will make them ask for forgiveness, I was going to take revenge. I smiled sadly at Ian and Lux. "Well, I don't object for you guys to go meet the Cullens," and I flintched as I said their names out loud, " but I'm not going, I can't face them. I can't let them close, not yet," I let go of Ray not knowing if she wanted to meet them, not wanting to make her choose sides "then we need our 'parents' to sign us in,"I said changing the topic, they all watched me intendly.

-" Good, to know that you're ok with it, I know that you don't want to be close to them, that you're afraid of getting hurt again," Lux said, and Lehana wrapped her arm around my shoulder and said "I'm just going to spy, see how they behave, pick some clues as to what they really are, so that we can help you mess with them later on," she beamed at me, she really made me feel like I had a sister. Like Alice made me feel once.

-" Sure, fine, hurry up, we don't want to be late our first day of school? Now do we?" I said pointing my head to the main office's door.

We went in, and got signed up, we got our schedule, and as soon as I got mine in my hands I saw them, Alice in my first class, Emmett on my second and third, Jasper and Edward on my fifth and sixth class and Rosalie in my seventh, thank god I had a free period in between third and fifth. I stopped breathing, I went full mode panick attack, they would all be in my classes, they would sit right next to me in every lesson, in every classroom. Sending out panick waves, I can't be so close to them, not yet. I dropped to my knees, and Ray's arms were around me trying to keep me upstraight. The pain in my chest left its caged habitad that was my chest and spread through out my entire body, once again I was in the Fiery hell I meet during my transformation and the room went black.

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**I need reviews, if I don't get anymore reviews I will stop uploading.....If I get 5 new reviews I'll upload the next chapter as soon as its done otherwise you'll have to wait.....or maybe noone its actually reading this = ( …..Maybe I should stop writing this, it feels like a waste of time, let me know if I should keep writing....... Sa-llie. **


	9. Chapter 8: I'm not ready to face them

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: You promised** ***pouts***

**Bella: No, I said, that I might let you if you gave me what I wanted.**

**Me: And I did, I gave you the whole week, no interuptions, fully paid, with Edward.**

**Bella: yes you did, but I still said might, so I won't. *smirks* **

**Me: so unfair *pouts***

**Bella: life's not fair, and as to no interuptions, Alice kept calling and calling, so not so much for the not interuptions part of the deal.**

**Me: and you expected me to stop Alice from calling you? You must be out of your mind, I can only handle 4 hours of shopping and so much of Sa-llie barbie time, I need to sleep, you do realize that, right? And it serves you right you got have way of what you wanted, and I'm gonna take my sweet time planing my revenge.....**

**Bella: right, because I should be affraid of what a human can do to me?**

**Me: Oh, really? *sings out* Oh, dear Alice?**

**Alice: Um.... Misha, I think you should, um... just, er... let her play a little while with Raysa.**

**Bella: and why would I let her play with my Raysa? Huh?**

**Me: *smiles sweetly, and talks sickly sweet* because as you may have noticed I am in charge of how this little story comes along, and I wonder what would happen if a certain family of vampires tumbles across and old not so human anymore accaintance?**

**Alice: why did all of the sudden my sight went completely hay wire? Why can I see a thing? *asks panicking***

**Bella: *bares her teeth* you wouldn't dare.**

**Me: I wouldn't? *asks sweetly* and who exactly is gonna stop me? You? *threatens* May I remind you that after last night party all of your family member swore loyalty to me. They belong to me, and I am their queen, they cannot go against me, now, just let raisa come play with me for a while and noone will learn anyones dirty secrets, okay?**

**Bella: I've taught you well, to black mail. Well, just a little while, but if she complains I will hunt you down.**

**Me: has she ever complained about me, after we play?**

**Bella: what do you play in there? She's always so radiating when she comes out, and no she doesn't complain but, whenever asked her she blocks her mind so I don't know what happens, why?**

**Me: that's for me to enjoy, and for you not to know..... if I admit that Twilight doesn't belong to me will you drop this conversation?**

**Bella: …..yes, and that doesn't count as admiting it.**

**Me: very well, then, I do not, I repeat, Do NOT own Twilight or it's characters, only this story plot and the Russon clan. Happy?**

**Bella: yes, okay, now you may play with Raysa after she comes from hunting.**

**Me: Boo-yah!!!**

**Bella: keep writing the story.**

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**Chapter 8: I'm not ready to face them.**

**BPOV:**

Knowing that they were going to be there was bad enough, and now I'm going to have them in my classes? every single one of them? I can't deal with them, not yet, even if they don't know who I really am, it all hurts the same, seeing them, talking to them, as if nothing happen when everytime I look at them I remember the lies, I remember the pain.

I can't, I just can't. Not even if Ray is in every single of my classes, and the others too. They would would be too close, too near, they would want to talk, to hang out, to know about our past, my past, which they did. They would get mad, because I am what they didn't want me to be. Now I'm like them. Something, a 'monster' that they refused to make me, He refused to make me, He made it about my soul, He said he didn't want to take it away, but He already had, the first day at the school cafeteria back in Forks. He had my soul, and heart, even if He didn't know it, He did.

Now that I was doing better, when the pain was getting to be bareable, they come back. To torture me, to kill me yet again, to brake me down yet again, to destroy me. They may not know who I am, and the worst part is that, Alice wanted to be my friend again? And Ray's? Why did Edward didn't take his eyes off of me? Wasn't it enough that he was standing right in front of me? He had to stare, He had to look so perfect.

He's eyes were black, I knew he was thristy, but why? He knew better than to push his limits, around humans, so why hasn't he hunt? His eyes looked dead, in pain, but his mask was smooth and humans wouldn't realize that he was so...pained?

Jasper as usual seem pained, but I knew it was because of the humans, but I don't understand, why was it such a hard thing for them to control? Humans didn't smell anymore appetizing that a deer, when a bear, or wolf, or even a cougar smelled better than a human?

Alice wasn't her usual boucing-all-around self, she seemed more grounded, less like a pixie, she didn't seem as energetic as she used to, I wonder what had happen to her?

Emmett wasn't his usual self either, he smiled but it looked forced, fake. His eyes didn't sparckle as they used to. Rosalie wasn't that different, even more she looked more pissed than before, her glare cold, and sad? I wonder what had happened to all of them, they all seem so......sober, so......hurt?

As I regained consciousness, I heard Lux and Ian talk to someone that hasn't spoken yet, they explained that they only needed to get me home, because of my glucose level seem to be low, they must have being taking to the school nurse.

I felt myself being picked up, from where ever I had being laying, I tried to pretend that I was still unconscious, but Ian's word in my head wouldn't stop running around my brain...._if only she wouldn't refuse to hunt more often...._ I hate to worry them all, but I don't want to hunt, blood is still repulsive to me, and being able to only feed of blood doesn't help my case much. Sure it tastes better than some human food, but I rather eat dirt tasting pizza than drink a deer, or a moose. I knew that as soon as I got home Lux and Ian would force me to hunt, I started to feel faint again and once more I was uncoscious.

Something was holding my head up, and the sweet taste of warm wolf's blood trickled down my tongue to my burning throat, I swallowed, and opened my eyes, focusing on the neck that was infront of me, I reached my hand towards it, and sank my teeth in it, I could feel the warmth of the blood, drowing the burn in my throat. As I finish and regained composture, I threw the carcass across the clearing, disgusted with myself, I dry heaved for a while and nothing came up.

I hated this, I hated myself. I only wanted this because of him, because of them, so that I could be with them forever, so that I could be taken care of for once instead of taking care of someone else, so that I could show him how much I trully loved, and belonged to him, but He didn't want me, He wouldn't have left if he did. They didn't want me, they would have said goodbye at least if they had, but they didn't.

I got up and walked across the clearing to pick up the carcass to bury it, to get rid of the evidence of me being here. As I did, I could here the sigh of relieve coming from Lux, she knew that as much as Raysa needed a mother, I needed someone to take care of me, she understood me, she knew me. I guess she she had tried to feed me while I was unconscious. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her waist and dry sobbed into her shoulder, she held me as I cried.

Eventually I stopped sobbing, but the overwhelming pain was still present. She said conforting words as cried, she was now waiting for me to voice the pain, for me to let her in. I rarelly broke down like I had today, but on the other hand I only let in Raysa and Lux in, the others cared and wanted me to let them in they tried to make me let them in, but I just can't let them in, I don't know why? I just can't.

-"Are you ready to talk?" She asked as she patted me on the back.

-" Does the universe hate me?" was all I whispered as I covered my face with my hands.

-" What?" she asked confused..._.What the hell does that mean? The universe hate her?...._I heard her say in her head.

-" Why else would all this happen to me?" I stood up and started to pace in front of her. "First I felt in love with a vampire, A VAMPIRE!!! for god's sake! Then I'm hunted by Psychotic one all the way to Phoenix, then Said love interest admits that I'm not good for him, like I feared, and He leaves me in the woods broken hearted, and then a deranged, Psychotic's vampire mate hunts me down too, to change me, when I wanted nothing to do with this world any longer, why else?" I ranted exasperated.

-" Oh, but that has nothing to do with the universe hating you, the universe can't hate. Misha, I know it may seem that way, but it doesn't, if the universe truly hated you, you wouldn't have a family that loves you, you wouldn't have had a human family that loved you, you wouldn't have known what love was even if he changed his mind later on, you would have hed a horrible life, and a even more horrible death don't you think?" she said looking sadly at me.

-" Then why? Why would I hurt this much if it didn't hate me? Why would it make me this now? Now that I no longer want this? Why would it take me to the same place that He is? That they are? Not only the same continent, and country but the same town? Same school? The universe must hate then," I said stopping to face her.

-" Have you thought that it might be fate? It can't possibly be a coincidence? Meeting them in your human life, and when they refused to change you, an accident happens and he suddenly he doesn't want you anymore? Have you thought that maybe he lied about not wanting you? Because it seems like an awful lot of work to try to keep you alive if he didn't want you, and why torture himself with being around you all that time if he didn't love you?" she said quietly.

-" Why would he lied? I knew I wasn't good enpugh, I knew he deserved better, that it was only a matter of time, I guess time came sooner than later," I said crashing onto the grass clutching at my chest since the pain was back. I felt the pain in waves radiating from my body, every wave was colder, heavier, more painful than the last, I heard Lux's knees hit the ground next to me, and heard her call out for Ian, and Ferdi. As I lost consciousness, I was burning all over again like during the transformation, but this time the ain in my chest added to the burn, I was falling apart.

I felt cold arms around me, easing the burn, the burn was still there but not as strong, the pain in my chest, was easing as well but I still wasn't all that conscious, someone held me but I didn't know who held me, I heard a voice, familiar, but I couldn't put a face to it. Something is obviously wrong. I had fainted before but never was I partly conscious, or unabled to open my eyes, the burn returnrd and it was worsed than ever before I thought I had caugh fire, and finally was going to leave this world.

I felt cold all around me but I was still burning, my body had grown heavy, I couldn't move, I wanted to call out for help, but I couldn't make a sound. I wanted to trash around but I couldn't move. I was afraid because for once I didn't want to leave for complete this world, and leave Raysa by herself once more. I had promised her to be with her, to be her mother.

I saw Raysa's face, I saw Charlie's face, Renee's, His face. I was starting to lose consciousness all over again, but maybe this time I wouldn't wake up, I silently said my goodbyes, and let my mind drift to the nothingness that threaten to swallow my body.

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**Sorry about the short chapter, not sure if I should keep this up. Let me know otherwise I'll stop writing this.**

**Not that I want Bella to die, she will not I assure you, but later on you will understand why this things keep happening to Bella, like the fainting and the whole abomination to blood, I swear that it will make sence. Please review it only helps me write more, if I write more I'll update sooner.... Sa-llie. **


	10. Chapter 9: Meeting up with the Russo's

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: *thinking out loud* what would happen if I tell the Cullen's where Bella is? They did called after she 'ran away'. *The whole Cullen bust through the door ripping it off it's jinges* Man!!? Really? I still haven't paid for the door Alice broke down, my dad is going to kill me, for real this time.....* started to pack my things into a douffle bag***

**Edward: what are you doing? Where's Bella? How do you know where she is?**

**Me: 1) I'm packing so that I can sneak out before my dad comes home and kills me because you broke down another door. 2) Bella's fine, she just doesn't want to be …... found at the moment. 3)I lnow where she is because, Genius, I'm writing this story, Duh!!**

**Alice: *bats her eye lashes at me* Sa-llie, please tell us where Bella is, we're really worried about her.**

**Me:.....Nope, she would kill me if I let you know where she is, and I appreciate my life a little too much to give it up, because telling you where she is is suicide.**

**Emmett: come on Sa-llie, we'll leave you alone if you tell us.**

**Me: Really? No more door busting? Or Sa-llie Barbie time? Or shopping? Or whining about being bored?**

**Emmett: yup, none of it, we'll even fix the door before your dad gets home.**

**Me: * I looked around the room filled with beautiful vampires* Ok, she's in Italy..... *I grin at them, they all took off running* Hahaha, Suckers, they don't know what she looks like now, and I didn't lie and didn't get killed, Alright.**

**Bella: *walks into the room looks around to the mess the Cullen's caused* you better clean that before your dad gets here, and when you're done keep writing the story.**

**Me: Too bad I don't own anything, would have made them clean the mess they made.**

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_This Chapter is to let us know what's going in on in the Cullen household. Finally!!? right?_

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**Chapter 9: Meeting up with the Russo's.**

**Alice's POV:**

Life, used to be fun, but now it kinda sucks. Everyone has changed since we move from Forks. Emmett doesn't even smile anymore, he fakes it but we all know it's fake, he won't play pranks anymore just sits in his room remembering all the times he made fun of Bella. Esme doesn't smile either, and she cries a lot too, I'm not sure if it is bcuase Edward won't talk or stay in the same room as the rest of us anymore, or if it is because she misses Bella, or both. Carlisle, has been staying out of the house taking double shifts at the hospital. Jasper blame himself even though I keeep telling him that it wasn't his fault we left. And I, myself have been out of it lately I can't even go into the mall, without thinking that if Bella was here life would be better.

And the worst part is that I know my bestfriend is suffering, how could Edward think that leaving her was for the best? She's a danger magnet, for God's sake!!? How is leaving her unprotected by herself any good for her? She could trip down the stairs and break her neck, knowing how clumzy she is. And he wanted her to fend for herself? _If you're listening Edward, you are an Idiot, you hear me? Stop being so stupid and lets go back, please? We all miss her, Edward, our family isn't the same since we left._

I heard a growl, of course he was listening,_ Edward you're being stupid, lets go back, please?_ He didn't answer but I saw a quick vision of him talking to me about why we left in the first place._ Can I at least see into her future? Jut to make sure that she's ok?_Another vision hit me.

**_I was sitting in Bella's living room comforting a crying and really tired looking Charlie._**

Why was I comforting Charlie? Why was Charlie Crying? Did this vision meant we were goping back to Forks? I heard another growl. And another vision hit me.

**_I was helping Charlie fix his outfit, his eyes were red, and he had tears running down his cheecks. "Thank you, Alice for helping with the funeral, I'm so sorry you had to see me like this, and that I haven't been of much help, but I can't help it she was my little girl, Alice, she was all I had left, and now she's gone," he sobbed, while I wrapped him in a hug._**

I came out of the vision, gasping and shaking. Bella's death? Bella is dead? My best-friend and sister is Dead? I let out an agonized scream and made my way to Edward's room, I busted down the door, and lunged at him.

-" You!! you jerk. It's all your fault, how could you?" I started to hit him. As hard as I could, until Jasper and Emmett came in into the room, I felt, my Jasper send a wave of calm towards me as Emmett held me down, away from Edward, I wanted to reject but it was too strong since Emmett handed me to Jasper. I started to sob into Jasper's chest, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

I heard Esme and Emmett ask what I had seen? I sobbed harder, a wave of calm surged through me, " thank you ," I whispered into his chest, and slowly turn to face my brother, and mother, " Bella," I whispered, I shot an angry glare, I was throwing daggers at Edward.

-" What about Bella? Alice," they asked panicking, Edward's body when rigid as I remembered my vision.

-" Bella's dead," I whispered feeling the sob in my chest, I heard Esme gasp in shock and Emmett's fist went through the wall in Edward's room. " I had a vision of Charllie telling me that he was grateful I was taking care of her funeral," I sobbed as Esme wrapped her arms around my shoulders as she sobbed for her lost daughter.

I felt raw anger surge through me, I was seeing red. I turned to Edward "This is all your fault, if we hadn't left she would be still alive, or at least be one of us, but NO!! You had to be a jerk, and decide for all of us to leave for her own good? How good was it for her? She's dead Edward. Dead!!? My sister is dead because I wasn't there to save her. My sister is dead because you wouldn't let me see into her future just to make sure she was ok, Edward. Are you so daft to realize that she wouldn't be ok if we left? If you left? Even Emmett knew she wouldn't just keep on going with her life as if we never happened. We all knew that she wouldn't be ok, that's why you asked us to leave before you said your good-bye, so that you would be the only one she saw when you made us leave, I left my sister behind because you, so many times moved when we wanted without even asking why? I've lost my sister, Emmett lost his little sister, Esme and Carlisle lost a daughter and you lost the one chance you had at being happy," I ranted, and after my rant I took off running towards Forks to help Charlie with the funeral arrangements.

I gto to Forks not too long after I fled the house, I ran my way to Bella's hous and as I got closer I saw Charlie's cruiser on the driveway. I stopped my running and walked to the front door. I knocked on it, there where muffled sobs coming from the other side of the door, I heard shuffling and the sobs quieted down, the lock on the door was removed and the door opened slightly to reveal a broken Charllie.

-" Alice?" he asked, his voice cracking.

-" Charlie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked him already know what was wrong, but it was all for his benefit.

-" What are you doing here Alice?" he asked looking around me, looking for someone, provably for Edward.

-" Well, I missed Bella too much, I couldn't handle so much pressure, anymore, so I kinda ran away from home and came to look for Bella?" I said making up the story. He started to sob again, " Charlie what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked him again.

-" Be-Bella," he stuttered.

-" What about Bella? Charlie, is she in the hospital again? Did she got hurt?" I asked him already knowing that he was going to say that she was dead.

He shoock his head no, took a deep breath and said: " about 2 night's ago I came from work and she seemed better, she was humming, she didn't look so dead anymore, then when I asked her how her day was she said it had being a good day she told she talked to Angela about thing and that she felt better, then that night she disappeared, she let a box with letter on the kitchen table and drove away," he sniffled and continued, " the next morning when I saw the box, I opened it and saw all the letteres, all the tear that she had poured into them, saw her pain, then I noticed the car gone I called Angela's house but she didn't know where Bella was, and then I got a call on from the station they said that there had been an accident in Elm road, you know the one with the closed curves?" he asked and I nodded I knew it perfectly, it was the one road in all of Forks that if the was ever a car accident it was there. " When I got there, I dropped to my knee her car was on flames turned upside-down, the car was completely destroid, and on fire, we couldn't get her, by the time we got the car to stop burning the only thing left of her was her bones, my little girl, burn to death, Alice," he started sobbing again. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to comfort him as I cried too.

A few days passed and I made sure to call Esme and let her know that I was fine, and what was going on with Charlie, she gave some 'fool proof' recepies so that I could cook Charlie something to eat, and we proceded with the funeral, most of Forks came to the funeral, somepeople I didn't know from La Push, I stood as far from them as I could those guys stink, I don't know what was going on with the reservation but those guys smelled like wet dogs, it was discusting.

A couple of days passed after the funeral and I had to leave, Charlie was still broken, but he didn't want to be a bad influence and told me to go home to my parents, I said my condolenses and told Charlie that I had, and still considered Bella a sister, and with that I left Forks.

Once I got home, Esme hugged me, and Jasper too, Emmett weas vivid and Rosalie said "he's been like that since you took off running,".

-" Alice why didn't you wait for me? I wanted to be there," He asked sadly.

-" Emmett, I wasn't really thinking, it was something I just did, I'm sorry, but I was hurt, I loved Bella, I know that you did too, but I was only thinking of my pain, it was selfish and I'm sorry but I can't take it back," I said and braking down, I felt Jasper's arms wrap around me, he lifted me and ran to our bedroom, he hed me as I cried, when I finally stopped sobbing he asked if I wanted to talk about it and I nodded.

I told him about the letters, I told him what each one of them said, I told him about how she was some sort of zombie for the first 4 months after we left, how she said she pretended to be better, how she thought she was fooling Charlie, but Charlie had seen through it, told him about how Charlie found out about her death, about the faint scent in her room of vampire, and about the funeral, we didn't leave our bedroom for a couple of weeks, we just laid there in each other's arms, until Jasper's thrist was too prominent and I had to force him to go hunt.

I completely ignored Edward, I couldn't stand to see him, if I had a vision of him walking into the same room I was in, I would leave that room, or I wold get out of the house. One night after Carlisle came from one of his double shifts he saw how his family was falling apart, and suggested we move to Italy, It has been a while since we've been in Italy and it would help us to change scene. It was decided we were moving to Italy.

Once we got settled in the new house, that was in a woodsy area in a town on the outskirts of Voltera. I was dancing around the house, because things had started to look up, Emmett was pranking away his pain, Esme was remodeling an old house from England, and life wasn't as glum. I was in Jasper's and I bedroom when I got a vision.

_**It was the first day of school**,_I only knew that because of the outfit I was wearing and that one was what I had already pick to be the first day of school outfit,_** we got out of our perspective car and then we got the smell of vampires in the area we looked around and we saw them. Six of them, two older once that looked like they were in their late thirties, early fourties, a woman with sandy blond hair and amber colored eyes, and a man with reddish-brown hair it was daker than Edward's coppery hair color, and he too had Amber colored eyes. A guy that could give Emmett a run for his muscles he had purple eyes and sandy blond hair, a girl that could rival Rosalie's beauty she too had purple eyes and brown hair, and two little girls that looked like thy were in their 13 or maybe 14 years old, both of them with dark bluish hair and silver eyes, the one to my right was clinging to the one on the left like the one on the left was her lifeline, but the one on the left was the one that looked scared, she was slightly trembling**. _I focused on the one that was scared, then the vision went black and ended. Why would a vampire be scare of us? They had more in number in the vision, there's something weird about that.

I had focused on the vision so much that I didn't notice Japer walk into our bedroom, he waited patiently for me to come out of it, once I snapped out of it, he asked me what had I seen, I told him about the vampires we were going to meet at school and how my vision suddenly went black, I couldn't wait to meet them,which got me excited making me squeal, to which Jasper chuckled.

-" Alice, I know it has been a while since we met other vegeterian vampires, but darlin' you need to tone down the exciment, otherwise Emmett will never let me live down if I start squealin' too," he said placing his arms on my shoulders to make me stop bouncing, I stopped.

-" Oooh, Hello cowboy," I said suddenly, God I love Jasper's southern accent.

Ok, I'm not going to go into detail about what happen after that, so fast forward to the first day of school.

As in my vision, we got to school and as we got out of the cars their scent hits us, we turn to them and just like in my vision they are all there. Jasper was sending me Calming waves, so that I wouldn't start bouncing all the way towards them, then when the twins focused their eyes on us, I felt something tickle me from inside, I tried to see into the future but I saw nothing, which scared me to no end. I felt Edward and Jasper go rigid around me.

-" Jazzy? Edward can you guyz feel or hear anything coming from them?" I asked in vampire speed. As we walked towards them.

-" No, not a thing," they said.

-" That's weird I can't see a thing either, but I don't think they are going to be a problem," I said getting closer to them, I focused my eyes on the twin to my left, they were shorter than me. YAY, finally I'm not the shortest person I know.... Back to the topic, the was a familiar scent coming from this girl it was like Freezia and strawberry, so familiar, she smelled like Bella, but why? Emmett decided to greet them.

-" Ciao, vi,"**(A/N: Hello, there)** Emmett greeted in Italian with his booming voice, as we approched them.

-" Ciao, come stai?" **(A/N: hi, how do you do?) **said the older male, the one with the reddish-brown hair. Well, they seemed nice enough.

-"Stiamo , siamo i Cullen, ci siamo trasferiti di recente,"**(A/N: we're fine. Thanks, we're the Cullens, we moved recently) **I said happily, I refocused my eyes on the twins. The twin of the left's eyes grew big, and her trembling was slightly worse, then the older female said to ' the kids':

-" Bambini, andare a scuola ci vediamo presso la sede," **(A/N: Kids,go on to school we'll meet you at the main office) **nudged the scared twin towards the school.

-" Sì, mamma," **(A/N: Yes, mother) **they all said at the same time. And started to walk towards the school entreance.

As they entered the school, I focused on the two members of the clan, and started to talk to them in italian: " Io sono Alice, e questo è il mio compagno di Jasper," **(A/N: I'm Alice, and this is my mate Jasper)** I said smiling. "Questi sono, il ragazzo è grande Emmett e Rosalie è la su compagna," **(A/N:** **These are, the big guy is Emmett and Rosalie is his mate)**I said pointing at them, "e che cosa c'è Edward," **(A/N: and that thing there is Edward)** I said disgusted, I was still mad at him for leaving Forks, and I was not going to stop rubbing it in his face.

They shared a look between themselves before turning to us to speak English. " I'm Damian, this is my wife Luscia," she nodded, " The big guy as you put it is Ferdinard, and his mate Yelena, is the little guiltless devil with an angel face, and there's twinsm Misha, the one that looks scared, and Raysa , the one that never lets go of Misha, we are the Russo's" he took a deep breath and continued: " Look, we know who you are, from stories we've heard, but we too are curious as to your story, as you are of ours, but this is not the place for aquaintances, and I understand that there are two members of your clan not present, we might meet later on, but let me tell you that one of the twins might not want to meet you, she is very shy, and due to something that happened in her human life she doesn't like meeting new people, and she is always with her Raysa, don't push her limits it won't be pretty," he warned, "don't surprise her, don't try talk to her if she's alone, and don't ever try to touch her, unless you wanna end up paralized for a couple of hours," he said.

-" Can I be the twins' friend?" I asked them, "Oh, when can we meet?" I asked just as fast as I finishe the other question.

-" You have to excuse Alice, she gets over excited when meeting new people," Edward said, I scowled at him, and turned to face them.

-" Well, as to if you can be their friends, that is up to the kids, we cannot give you an answer, that is something that you will have to find out on your own, and as to meeting the rest of your clan, we can meet whenever you can, just let us know through the kids," Luscia said in a motherly manner. She reminds me of Esme sort of.

-" Okay, well we gotta go, we don't want to casue a bad impression on our first day of school," I said waving at them as, as they got in their car. And we walked into the school.

-" Well, this is going to be an intersting year," Emmet said with his booming voice, amking head turn towards us.

-" Oh, it will be, first time sharing a school with other vampires," I said as the bell ran. We separated and went to our respectives classrooms. The day dragged on, and we never encounted the Russo's kid, and their scent wasn't strong it was as if the had left school.

I was dissappionted, we didn't get to talk to the Russo's kids, but once we got home, we told Esme about them, and Jasper and I decided to spend our time, by walking around the woods. We were enjoying just having each other, as we walked hand in hand, when we heard someone talk.

-" What?" said a faintly familiar voice.

-" Jazz? Did you hear that?" I asked him turning to he his face, his face was epitome of pain. He nodded his head, " and feel the pain, and confusion," he said slowly.

The voices continued but this time it wasn't a familiar one, but it still sounded like windbells, " Why else would all this happen to me?" she owner of the voice paused, and closed in slowly, slwer than a human pace, "First I felt in love with a vampire, A VAMPIRE!!! for God's sake! Then I'm hunted by a Psycotic one all the way to Phoenix, then Said love interest admits that I'm not good for him, like I feared, and He leaves me in the woods broken hearted, and then a deranged, Psychotic's vampire mate hunts me down too, to change me, when I wanted nothing to do with this world any longer, why else?".

-" That sounds awfully familiar," I said remembering how James had hunted Bella all the way to Phoenix.

-" Oh, but that has nothing to do with the universe hating you, the universe can't hate. Misha, I know it may seem that way, but it doesn't, if the universe truly hated you, you wouldn't have a family that loves you, you wouldn't have had a human family that loved you, you wouldn't have known what love was even if he changed his mind later on, you would have had a horrible life, and a even more horrible death don't you think?" the familiar voice said, her voice was motherly, and it kind of reminded me of Esme, so I remembered who that voice belonged to, Luscia the female vampire that acted as a mother figure to the Russo clan.

-" Then why? Why would I hurt this much if it didn't hate me? Why would it make me this now? Now that I no longer want this? Why would it take me to the same place that He is? That they are? Not only the same continent, and country but the same town? Same school? The universe must hate me then," the unfamiliar voice said again.

We decided to get closer, Jasper because he couldn' handle the pain anymore and wanted to help whoever was in such horrible pain.

-" Have you thought that it might be fate? It can't possibly be a coincidence? Meeting them in your human life, and when they refused to change you, an accident happens and he suddenly he doesn't want you anymore? Have you thought that maybe he lied about not wanting you? Because it seems like an awful lot of work to try to keep you alive if he didn't want you, and why torture himself with being around you all that time if he didn't love you?" Luscia's voice grew louder as we came closer.

-" Why would he lied? I knew I wasn't good enough, I knew he deserved better, that it was only a matter of time, I guess time came sooner than later,".

-" That sounds like something Bella would say," Jasper whispered remembering our lost sister. Suddenly Jasper's hold on my hand became, stronger. "The. Pain. Is. Unbareable." he said dropping to his knees, his breath shallow, it worried me. He suddenly got up and ran towards the voices, I called after him, and he didn't returned so I ran after him, I got to a clearing not to far from where we were, and saw Jasper hold a passed out vampire? It was on of the twins, Luscia was on her cellphone talking to someone in vampire speed.

-" What happened?" I asked completely freaking out, vampires aren't supposed to lose consciousness.

-" I'm not sure," Luscia responded, "we were talking and she started hyperventilating then passed out, it's not that we haven't seen this before, but I still worry," she said looking at the unconscious vampire in my husband's arms.

A few minutes later, Ferdinard and Damian, and the other twin came to the clearing, the other twin asked Jasper to hand her sister and as soon as Jasper handed the twin over, she started to whisper into her twin's ear, eventually she lifted her and started running away from the clearing.

Me and Jasper stared at the remaining members of the Russo clan in the clearing, and asked what that meant?

-" Well, remember how we told you about the twins?" Damian asked.

We nodded not really understanding what a passed out vampire had to do with the warnings he gave us.

-" That, that you just witnessed was why you can't surprise her ever," Luscia said. " She's not like the regular vampire, apparently there was something wrong with her creator's venom, that made her that way, or at least that's what we think," Damian said.

-" You should, go home see, that she's fine," Jasper said to them. Holding on to my hand again, they nodded and turn to leave, when suddenly Ferdinard said: " At school, please keep your distance from her she hates it when people try to take care of her, she hates showing weakness," and they took off running.

I turned to face Jasper, " I didn't know it was possible for a vampire to pass out?" I said to him as we turned to return home to talk to Carlisle about what we just witnessed.

-" She was in so much pain, it was even worst than being in a locked room with Edward," he whispered.

-" Poor girl," I said as we reached the steps to the front door. As we walked in I dragged Jasper to Carlisle study, once Carlisle asked us to come in we told him about what happened. We talked for a while about how I couldn't see anuthing when one of the twins where present and how Jasper, couldn't feel anything when they were together. After a short while he decided that it was time to invite over the Russo clan to try to understand what was going on,and to know where we were standing.

Carlisle asked us to let the Russo's kids know when we could meet after school, to have a formal introduction of all of the members. Oooh, tomorrow is going to be and exciting day.

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**I know it's a bit long but it had to be done, otherwise I know you would have been really confused. I was kind of glad that Alice tried to beat up Edward, but someone had to try to beat some sence into that boy. I know that I said earlier that I wasn't keep on posting more chapters, so thanks my friend Liz, who has been pestering me about posting, and for waiting 18 minutes just so that my computer would open the file where the others chapters are, 18 minutes just to open a chapter..... anyway from now on it totally up to Liz if more chapters are posted, I don't have a lot of patience, I can't wait 18 whole minutes for a file to open that's just insane, anyways.......I'll see what I do about this computer, reviews and PM's are welcome......Sa-llie.**


	11. Chapter 10: Devil in disguise

**Disclaimer:**

**-Raysa: Do you think Misha'd let me go with you? *Said while fixing the jinges on the new door***

**-Me: Are you crazy? She nearly bit my head off when aI asked her to let me play with you. It's not like you don't like it, right? And still she thought that I was gonna take you away and eat you or something. *I blushed as my head when down the gutter* **

**-Raysa: *laughed at me blushing* maybe that's why she did, maybe she thought you would do something like that. *She chuckled putting the finishing touches on the door***

**-Me: I would never do that, I don't...... *looked away* I have to keep writing before Misha comes back. *Said starting the laptop***

**-Raysa:right.... now say whatever you were going to say while looking at me in the eyes, *she said while grabbing my both sides of my face***

**-Me: I......I..... *I inhaled her breath, I was dazzled***

**-Raysa: you....what? *She said not letting go of my face, leaning in closer***

**-Liz: Sa-llie!!!!! *screamed from downstairs***

**-Me: *came out of my stupor* you dazzled me, cheater..... *I hissed***

**What do you want liz?**

**-Liz: can I stay over? Dad kicked me out again. *Said while coming up the stairs***

**-Raysa: and why would your dad kick you out this time? How many times can you get kicked out of your house in a month? * asked to Liz, while sitting on the floor next mto my bed***

**-Me: so far the records is 8? don't tell me your dad found out about Summer?**

**-Liz: I'm afraid so.... *she said while jumping into my bed***

**-Me: URGH!!! is he going to tell my parents?**

**-Liz: I don't know...... How long is she going to stay in your room? *Said pointing at Raysa***

**-Me: as long as she wants, she's as mine as Summer is yours.**

**-Liz: OI, I get it..... so, do you own twilight yet?**

**-Me: do you you own Harry Potter?**

**-Liz: nope.**

**-Me: Nope, we own nothing..... only Raysa and Summer. *Raysa's head ends up near my lap* I better get to writing.**

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**Chapter 10: Devil in disguise.**

**BPOV:**

The pain was back, it was as if it never left, it was always there a dull tug in my chest everytime I inhale, reminding me, mocking me that what he and they so profoundly rejected to make me I now was, reminding me of what I was missing. Of him, of them.

I heard a low whisper in my ear, I recognized the voice, It was my minino, Raysa. She whipered words of comfort. How can I continue like this? And I'm not even sure a vampire is supposed to be able any of this things.

For starters, I'm a vampire that faints. Who is that possible? I thought that vampires weren't able to lose consciousness, and I faint all the time, I sleep as well, while the rest of my family does not, I cry venom tears, I can eat human food, but I still need to hunt every 2 weeks, a deer would do just fine, but I still can't handle blood. And aren't vampires supposed to have 1 special ability? How come I can do everything? From seeing the past to seeing the future, to feeling someone's emotions to proyecting my emotions, from seeing to proyect, from having to creating and giving to taking powers, and I'm always so tired after using my gifts. That can't be normal there has to be something wrong with me.

Wow, look at me not even in the world of the supernatural can I be normal, in my human life he wasn't able to read my thoughts and now in his world I can't be like everyone else, the universe,or whoever is up there must really hate me, and my guts.

The whispering in my ear never eased and I felt myself being lower into a soft surface, probably my bed. I tried to send out some happy waves, to let Raysa know that I was ok that I only needed some rest, I'm not sure if she got them because suddenly I was in a vision.

_Raysa and I were in the woods, she was hunting and I followed not to far behind her, then suddenly Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. Aproched us. I tensed up, as I see them, Raysa runs to my side, and grabs on to my left arm, I step backwards as the come in closer, I can see their faces returning me a confused stare. I know that in my vision I am freaking out...._

I shoot up in bed, gasping for unnecesary air. I can't handle this anymore, I have to get away from them, I have to leave this place. Why is it that now just when I was learning to ignore the pain do they ave to be again in my life? Un-death? Whatever this is? But no, they have to be here as well, First they all leave me and now their back, just like that, like I never even happened? Oh. Hell. No. If their going to be in my life, I'm making them suffer as much as I have, they will know what I have been through.

I looked around our room, to find Raysa sitting in the rocking chair staring out the window. I knew she knew I knew that even though she was looking out the window that she was paying attention to every movement, and breath I took.

-" I need your help," I told her.

She slowly turn to face me, with a questioning face, "How?" was all she asked, no why? Or who? How?

_-_" I need you, Lehana, and Ferdi's help, I'm going to drive the Cullen's insane," I said calm.

-" And how exactly do you plan, on driving a clan of vampires insane?" she looked at me eskeptically.

-" That's where Lehana comes in on the plan, she will make so random girl in the school hallway that has dark brown hair look like I did when I was human for a couple of seconds, and since she's always with Ferdi and he can sence them faster that any of us could his going to warn her," I said looking at her.

-" Ok, but how do I fit in the plan?" she assked.

-" Easy, since they think we are twins, I need you to prtend that you are me every couple of days so that I can mess with them,"

-" Why not just give me the powers and tell what do you want me to do to them?"

-" Because that way I won't be able to see their faces when it happens, and I want to see their faces," I told her.

There was a knock on the door. I knew it was Lehana and Ferdi, since their smell was so different from the others, she smelled like a freaking candy store, sickening sweet and he smelled like woods.

-" Come on in guys," I said as they opened the door.

-" We're in," Lehana said with that evil smile, of her that gives away that whatever it is that is coming cannot be good.

Ferdi just rubbed his hands together maniacally. " I have a couple of ideas as well," he said in a comically way.

-" What?" I asked, Oh this is going to be good.

-" Well, remember when we first met?" he asked, looking at me in a weird way.

-" Yes?" it came out as a question.

-" When we got grounded?" he said carefully.

-" Because, you tricked into thinking that Lux and Ian where going to break up," I said getting pissed at the memory.

-" Yeah? I mean how I tricked you?" he said making hand gestures, for me to proceed.

-" Oh..... you're going to proyect my voice? But you never heard me talk when I was a human, how are going to do that?" I asked him.

-" Easy, little miss I-know-everything-you-ever-did here, can proyect me your memories, and I can get it from there," he said matter-of-factelly.

-" Ok," I said.

-" This is going to be funnier than that time we messed up with the Delani clan," Lehana said.

-" Yeah, good times, good times," Ferdi said remanizing.

-" Ok, so are we really doing this?" Raysa asked.

-" We are," I said, " This is revenge," and I faked a maniacal laughter.

They all looked at me like I had gone insane, " What you never seeked for revenge?" I asked them.

-" Yeah, you just look like a crazy cookie," Ferdi said, I busted out laughing.

-" What's up with you and cookies, everytime someone mentions it you start laughing like crazy?" Lehana.

-" That's a really long story, I'm going to have to tell you about it some time, but right now we need to find out how are we going to make a human look, smell, and sound like my human self, without the other humasn noticing it," I realized that neither Ian nor Lux had come in to try to persuade us into not going with this plan, " Where are Lux and Ian?"

-" Hunting," they all said in unison.

-" That is still creepy," I said truthfully.

-" Ok, guys, this meeting is adjurn, we don't talk about this again, this plan never happened, and we didn't even see each other this evening," I said suspiciously.

-" How did we ended up in this room?" Lehana asked faking confusion, I simply nodded her way and she smiled and dragged Ferdi out of the room.

-" You guys are crazy, I'm glad you fit just rght in," Raysa said sitting next to me in the bed.

-" I'm glad too," I said kissing her forehead, before wrapping her in a hug. " Shall we have some fun?" I asked her mischiviously.

-" Really? With Ferdi and Lehana here?" she asked hopefully.

-" Who said they were still here?" asked her brushing a strand of hair out of her face, " they left the house as soon as the left the room," I said as I leaned in to kiss her in the lips.

-" I don't object," she simply shrugged.

I smiled and continued to kiss her, I knew that I was just replacing the feelings I felt for Edward with Raysa, simply because she allowed me to do it, we both knew that eventually we would have to stop, and that the other meant nothing more than what we did, it wasn't love, in that way anyways, but it was out of loniless, and rejection, the other understood, and we simply 'played' with eachother until one of us finds a real mate.

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**Please don't kill me, but Lizzie made me make Bella and Raysa 'Play' she said that it onl;y makes sence that they gravitated towards the other, and the whole sharing a room and whatnot.......I'm sorry about the whole, Bella being slightly sexually curious? Please review, if you liked it or not, just review....... Sa-llie.**


	12. Chapter 11:Messing with vampires

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: What. Is. That?! *Pointing at a furry ball with fangs and blood dripping out of its mouth?***

**Emmett: That? *points at the thing***

**Me: *nods***

**Emmett: That's my new pet, cuddles. * he walks towards it and it hissed at him***

**Me: Em? What is that thing? And did it just hissed at you? Why is it here, in my room? And why is it twitching like that *I asked walking away from it as far as possible, without startling it***

**Emmett: Its a squrriel, vampire squirrel, it did just hissed at me, I had to hide somewhere, and its thristy, that's why its twitching. *He said calmed***

**Me: If I say that twilight doesn't belong to me will you get that thing out of here?**

**Emmett: maybe.....**

**Me: I don't own a thing!!! Now get that thing out of here before it aims for my neck.**

**Emmett: Oh! You're no fun. *Walks out of the room with his vampire squirrel thingy***

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**Chapter 11: Messing with some vampires heads.**

**BPOV:**

I Know that I was going to hurt so much, but it would be so worthy in the end, right? They would understand what I felt, How I feel. They would pay, for their lies, for the pain, for the heartache, for making me believe that I was part of their family, that I finally belonged.

Today was going to be hell. That I knew, today is going to be the day when I finally face them, even if Ray is there in all of my classes, they would try to make me talk to them, ,they would try to make me feel comfortable around them, because thanks to a vision I had last night during Mine and Ray's 'play' time I knew that Alice and Jasper had Edward know what happened at the forrest, and he would fill in the rest of them, after annoying them by having a very heated silent conversation with Alice.

-" Are you sure you want to go with this 'plan'?" Raysa asked me while coming out of the closet already dress for school.

-" Yes, don't worry," I told her wrapping my arms around her waist. " I'm going to be fine, I will have some fun, wasn't that what you wanted of me?" I asked her after listening to her worried thoughts.

-" I just don't want you to be in more pain, I just don't want you to close up again, and leave us out," she said snoozing into my neck.

-" I'll be fine, I promise you, I won't close up, even more I'll open up more, I feel like there's going to be a mayor change around here," I told her remembering the vision I had while being semi-concious.

-" What did you see?" she asked catching on, on what I wasn't saying.

-" You'll find out, eventually," I said letting go of her waist, and running out of the room to meet Ferdi and Lehana at the front door, waiting for us to get down so that we could go to school, Raysa came chasing after me, screaming "COME BACK HERE!!!" and I hid behing Lehana.

-" What did you do, Misha?" Ferdi chuckled, " What did you hid from her, this time?" he asked amused as I hid behind Lehana, and Lehana wouldn't let Raysa get to me.

-" Nothing, I swear," I said scared, she might look like a 13 year old, but she can get inside your head, literally, and really mess you up, she can be so scary.

-" Just let me see and I'll leave you alone," she said still trying to get pass Lehana.

-" You can't, it'll change the future if I show you and I need it to happen so you have to be kept out until it happens," I pleaded with her.

-" Can I see?" Ferdi asked.

-" No, you'll help her stop it, I can't let that happen," I said closing my eyes and willed myself in the car, and when I opened them I was in my Midnight blue Corvette Stingray C3. I love this car. I knew that she would pop out the second she knew I was gone. And 2.6 seconds later Ray and Lehana knocked on my window. I sighed. And open the door, Ray slipped into the passanger seat and Lehana waved and turned towards the blood red Mustang GT500 Convertible in which Ferdi was already sitting.

Ferdi took off and I turned on my car, " I really want to know," Ray whispered.

-" I really can't tell you, I wish I could, but I can't," I said taking after Ferdi towards the school. " I'm going to hate myself for going through with this," I said as I parked next to Ferdi's car and got out.

The Cullen's stood by a Red BMW, and a black Sedan, who's was it I don't know, They noticed us and started to walk towards us, I stiffened and Ferdi, Lehana, and Ray where by my side as soon as 'humanly' possible, they basically hid me behind them, and Ferdi warned them not to get much closer, I knew that They were confused, because before hitting school ground I had place my shiels on all four of us. I used Ian's power to communicate with Lehana, and Ferdi.

_-" Guys, I need you to do that fake me scene,"_ I said to their minds.

_-" Right now?" _they both asked at the same time.

_-" That still freaks me out, but yes now,"_ I said and a lucky us a girl with the same hair cut and hair color passed by us, I place my shield on her and Lehana chaged her appareance, her smell, and when she talked to greet her friends it sounded like me, when I used to greet Angela, they all turned to look at her and their jaws dropped and their eyes widened, and one of the school jogs passed infront of her and she was back to normal, they blinked furiously still looking her way.

-" Hey, are you ok? You guys look like you just saw a ghost," Lehana asked to seem like it was just their imagination, if only they knew. I laughed in my head, I was still scared of them getting any closer and finding out who I was to actually laugh. The bell rang and Raysa dragged me to my first block, Drama class where I would be sitting next to Alice. Oh joy, note on the ultra thick sarcasm.

I walked into the class to meet the teacher, Mrs. DePaulo, she told me to take a seat on the empty table on the balck left corner of the classroom. Unfortunatelly She sat Raysa all the way across the room, and I had to sit next to Alice, this is going to get ugly.

I walked stifely towards my chair, I masked my scent again, because thanks to whoever is up in the sky, higher being thingy, I not only look, like a human, I still smell like I used to, like strawberries and freesias **( A/N: I'm not sure how to spell this) **only that it has the hint of vampirism in it. I was freaking out, what if she wanted to talk to me? What if she wanted to be my friend again? The pain in my chest was back eating me alive, or watever we are, consuming me like fire. I sat down on the chair and I saw how Alice went from basically vibrating on her chair to statuesque stillness. She was in a vision, she came out of her vision and she turned to see me straight in the eye, with worry and curiosity.

-" What are you exactly? You're not human, that's for sure, you look like a vampire, but you faint? And you need to breathe What are you?" she whispered so low that if I wasn't a vampire and were sitting right next to her I wouldn't have heard it.

I didn't reply I just sat there looking at her, remembering all the times, we would have a sleep over, the pain increased, every time she would drag me shopping, how she tried to make shopping more bareable for me, the pain doubled. I was having breathing problems, I couldn't get the oxygen into my lungs, other of my 'human' traits, I need to breath. The many times she had to help me shower and dress myself after the whole James thing, the pain was full force, and I wasn't getting any oxygen, I fell off the chair and I heard Raysa near me and yelling at the teacher to call for either Ferdi or Lehana, and to tell them that Misha was having another episode, I felt my eyes starting to roll to the back of my head, maybe this was it, maybe I will finally die... after all, the 'episode' had being going on for about some 2 minutes, and neither Ferdi nor Lehana here here with the solution that Lux came out tainted blood, they would inject me avout 350cc of wolf blood with a blue colorant making it purple, and not so bloody.

My eyes were in the back of my head I was starting to loose consciousness and I heard Raysa, say in my ears: " Nemůžete mě nechat, slíbil jsi, že zůstaneš se mnou, jsi slíbil!? Nemůžete mě opustit, musíš držet ..." **(A/N: You can't leave me, you promised to stay with me, you promised!!? You can't leave me, you have to hold on...)**

I wanted to hold on, I wanted to keep my promise, I wanted to protect her, them, but the pain was even worst than the transformation, because I knew the transformation would eventually get to an end, but this pain has being with me for over a year now. I was sucked into the now familiar nothingness, I felt nothing, I heard nothing, I smelled nothing. I don't know if I'm alive, if I'm dead, if I'll ever go back, at least the pain isn't with me in here, that would have suck.

A memory: I was with Edward in our meadow, it was the first time I saw him under the sunlight, I saw how his skin sparkled like it had millions of tiny diamonds inbedded in it, he was beautiful, yet he always thought that he was a monster, now I understand he was guilty he was playing with my feelings yet he didn't put an end to it, not until I was too deep into him, when I needed him to live. The pain wasn't back, but I also felt nothing, no aanger, no sadness, nothing.

Another memory: All those night that he would stay in my room as I slept, all the times that he would hum me his lulaby until I was asleep, or how he kept the nightmares away, nothing still....

Another memory: Raysa holding me in our room, as I cried my eyes out after telling her about them, I remembered that that was the very first time I had an episode and if it wasn't for Lux and her experiments on the whole you need to feed more often, and trying to get me to feed more she came running in with a seringe **(A/N: is this how you spell it, I don't know, it's being a long week and I'm just writing this because Liz is pushing me into writing, i'm aboput to give it up, it's not getting enough attention, so this might be the last chapter unless I get like 7 more reviews) **and injected it into my skin, aparentelly my skin is penetrable when I'm having an episode.

I felt something brush my arm, then my head, I was feeling something maybe I was coming to consciousness again. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't, they were so heavy, I was hearing my name being called, it was Raysa and Lehana, they were calling my name, in whispers. The weight in my eye lids was becoming nothing until I could finally open them, when I opened them I was in the school nurse's office, and Raysa, Lehana, Alice, and Jasper where there.

I didn't feel the pain, this time, was it because of Jasper, but my shield would have blocked his power, did I let it down? I tried to pull up my shield but nothing happened, so it can't be Jasper, then I noticed that Ray had her finger entwined with mine, so it was her, she was giving me this sence of relieve, of peace.

-" We need to talk to you," Alice said with sadness in her voice.

Had they found out about me? Has she seen me while I let my shield down? I started to panick again, and the breathing became a problem again.

-" We only want to know what's going on, because, you look like twins," she said pointing at Raysa and Me, " you look more like a clone than anything, because not even identical twins are that alike, you faint, you need to breathe, and you cry with tears, while she doesn't, Why?" she asked.

I wouldn't answer and hid behind Raysa, Ray answered for me, " That's beccasue we weren't biten by the same vampire, and her 'creator' didn't get to leave enough venom in her to make the transformation complete," Ray defended me.

Jasper shifted from beside Alice, " do you always hurt this much, I can barely be near you, everytime that I caome close to you the pain is unbareable," he said.

I nodded my head to his questiion and he came in closer extending his hands towards me, I wanted to take it, let him take the pain away but I was afraid of touching him. What if some of my memories get passed to him? Or my powers? What if he couldn't get passed my shield? I looked at Ray for confirmation, she nodded her head letting me know that everything would be ok, I extended my hand to him, and kept repeating in my head, ..._if you see anything just let it go, I'll talk to you later about it...._

He took my hand and I felt a tingle run through my body, I knew I was absorving his power, and in exchange he gasped, as he saw my past in his head, I talked to him in my head, _….Jasper, please don't say anything, I will tell you anything you want to know just don't tell the rest, please?..._

…_.Bella? Is that really you?...._

…_.Yes Jasper it's me, i'm, so sorry I didn't say anything, but you have to understand, it hurts too much to be around you guys to talk, you understand right?...._

…_.Yes, Bella I understand, I will try my best to not let Edward or Alice know about you, I must tell you I am sorry for what happened at you 18__th__ birthday, it was my fault we left, whatever Edward told you afterwards was all lies, believe me....._

…_.I never blamed you, I knew that if I ever hurt myself around any of you, that would have happened, I only wished it hadn't being you, you being the newest into the diet...._

…_.We should get together sometime to catch up, what do you say?.... _he asked hopefully.

…_.Are the others going to come?...._

…_.No, just me, will you spend some time with me?...._

…_.Yes, but know that Raysa will be there, and then you can ask me everything that you want to know, but as of right now I need your help with the others, with you tell them to back off? It really hurts when you are all so cliose to me...._

…_.Sure, anything for my little sister...._ he smiled at me as he held my hand.

The exchange didn't go unnoticed, Raysa and Lehana where narrowing their eyes to Jasper, and Alice looked utterly confused. Jasper dropped my hand and turned around to wrapped his arms around Alice, she smiled at me sadly.

…_.Ray? Lehana? I want to go home, I've had enough for a day, and I need to hunt...._ I used telepathy to let them know, they nodded their heads in agreement, and Lehana walked to the nurse and let her know that I still wasn't feeling well and that I wanted to go home, the nurse handed her a pink slip and told us that she hoped that I would feel better soon. We walked out of the nurse's office and Ferdi was leaning on the wall, he nodded his head and we all headed to the main office to sign ourselves out, and we headed home.

The next couple of days are going to be Hell......

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**Here you go th elast chapter I will post, willingly, I only posted it because of my friend Liz has being pestering me about it, so thank her, I'm giving up on the story since it hasn't being getting any attention what so ever, and I could be using the time I take to write this story to finish the other ones I have.... So sadly this is a goodbye... unless I get 7 more reviews....Sorry, Sa-llie. **


	13. Chapter 12: Like old times

**Yay! I got my 10 reviews, and as promised here is another chapter, now let make those reviews 23, I need more reviews, people...it's not that hard just press the blue buton at the bottom of the page...... **

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**Disclaimer:**

**Me: * I laid in bed looking up at the pretty stars in the sky* Oh they sure look pretty. *After a little while of star gazin I noticed* Where the hell is my ceiling? *Thinking of what could have happened to my ceiling* EMMETT!!!??**

**Emmett: *runs in with a cheecky grin* yes?**

**Me: what the hell happened to my ceiling? Where the hell is it?**

**Emmett: well, you see, the thing is, that.... remember cuddles? *He asked nervously***

**Me: yes.... *I answered slowly***

**Emmett: Well..... I made him some friends, but they wanted a whole army and I didn't have any where to hide them, and I couldn't let them outside by themselves, so I hid them in you room while you were at Lizzie's.....**

**Me: I still don't know what happened to my ceiling.....**

**Emmett: Hahaha, funny story actually....so I locked them in your room and they ate their way through your ceiling....hahahaha...funny thing right?......like they need to eat anything....there was vampire squirrels throwing up everywhere.**

**Me: so you're telling me that while I was gone....*deep breath* you made and army of your vampire squirrels thingies, and then locked them up in my room, and they ate their way out through my ceiling?.......**

**Emmett: yeah......**

**Me: *walk towards the laptop and start to googleand take out a piece of paper and start to write rapidly***

**Emmett: Sa-llie? Why are you writing? What are you writing? Don't you usually write the story on your laptop?**

**Me: yeah.... but I'm writing my will of thrust..... leaving all my things to Liz.....including this story......**

**Emmett: why are you doing that?**

**Me: because, now there's no avoiding my dad, and him killing me.... how the freak am I going to explain to him that an army of vampire squirrels ate their way through my bedroom ceiling? He will either kill me for real....or send me to the looney bin......either way I'm going to leave my stuff to Liz.....To bad I don't own twilight, otherwise I could make you fix my ceiling.....good-bey cruel world....it was a nice 18 years of knowing you....goodbye.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Like old times.**

**BPOV:**

I need to hunt, no matter how much I try to avoid it I have to hunt, I'm getting too weak, physically, the fainting spells are more often, and the nightmares are more vivid. I hate the smell of the blood or the way it tastes on my tongue, but it quenches the thrist, and the pain in my throat. I still get nausea just from thinking of blood.....as I got rid of the wolf's carcass, I dry heaved, I knew nothing would come out since I needed the blood, but it was still discusting.

Back at the house everyone was getting ready for another day of school, Oh joy, note on the heavy sarcasm..... Well maybe school isn't going to be as bad, Jasper did promised that he would try to block his thought from Edward and Alice, eventhough I doubt that he will be succesful, I need him to try.

I got ready for school as well, and on our way there, I placed my shields on my family and as soon as the Cullen's came into view, I placed my shield on him to, he hadn't realized that we were in the parking lot yet, and he had a confused anf relieved look on his face. My shield, shielded him from the unslaugh of emotions emanating from the people around him. Eventually they all noticed us, he was asking me mentally if I had stopped all the emotions, I simply nodded once, and then he thanked me. I smiled, because even though they all had left, and they all lied, they made me feel like I belonged, like I was one of them, they might have lied, but while I was with them I never felt left out, or lonely.

-" Do you think they know?" Lehana asked nervously.

-" I can't read anything involving that matter coming from them," Ferdi said as he walked to my left. Raysa on my right, and Lehana right infront of me, since we have to keep up appearances, yes I might be the leader of the vampire clan known as the Russo's but to humans I was a shy 13 year old girl with a case of Anthropophobia **(A/N: ****Fear of people or society.) **n n real;ity was still a new born vampire, yes my eyes aren't red, but they're not golden, but silver. So what? If I smell like a human, and faint, and despice blood, I have speed, and strengh, I can see better than a human will ever see, can smell better than any human will ever smell. So what? If I can still blush, and sleep, my brain analze things better and faster. So what? If I'm different than other vampires, I have powers that they will never even imagine exists.

-" I don't know to what stend I can trust Jasper that's why I shielded him, in case he actually managed to keep Edward out and Alice too, I reached in their minds they know nothing he did a good job keeping them out, but I still can't trust them completely," I said in a hush manner as we walked towards the Cullen.

As soon as we reached them my physical shield was up, only Lehana, Ferdi, and Rraysa that were inside the invisible shield could be close to me, Alice tried to hug me and she bumped into my shield, with a confused look on her face she tried to push against it, to the point were she looked like a mime. Emmett being Emmett decided to help her, and pretended to lock her in a box, to which I chuckled. All of the Cullen's and the Russo's turn to look at me, embarassed by the unwanted attention I blushed, to which Emmett, Alice and Edward, gasped. Jasper only looked at me in amazement, and Rosalie looked murderous, I hid behind Lehana again and buried my face in Raysa's neck, I felt Ferdi push us behind himself and croush into a defensive stand, and low growls were heard, wheni pulled away from Raysa's neck I saw Emmett and Jasper in the same stand as Ferdi only that they were facing each other.

-" Emmett, tell Rosalie to stop looking at her like that," Jasper said in a low and menacing voice.

-" Jazz what are you talking about?" Alice asked frantically, and frustrated since she can't see a thing because of my shields, she rubbed her hands on Jasper's back trying to take him away from his defensive stand. " Rose isn't doing a thing," she said looking from Jasper to Rosalie who was still looking at me like she wanted to rip me into pieces.

Ferdi must have heard what she was thinking because he growled even harder, and hid me behind him again. " Keep that girl away from Misha, or I will personally make sure she's gets it," he snarled. Now all the Cullen's were in defensive stands, all but Jasper who was facing the Cullen's too, but away from us. The growling was louder but not enough for humans to be able to hear it.

-" Stop," I commanded in a whisper, Lehana, and Ferdi, froze under my command, they knew that the tone wasn't from Misha, it was from their leader. They moved away, and I came into view to the Cullen's, I stopped the time so everything around us was frozen, all but us. I stteped forward and looked at each one of them in the eye. I willed myself to look like my human self, or what I remember what I looked like, I heard gasped from the Cullen's and pleas from the Russo's.

-" I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it up any longer they have to know," I said to my family. I turned to face the Cullen's and I borrowed Ferdi's gift of imitating voices, and imitated my human voice, I left all my shiels down but the one that protects my mind.

-" Hi," I said shyly. " I think it has been a while since I last saw you guys, and yu saw me," I said with confidence.

-" Bella?" was a question that came from Emmett, Alice, and Edward. Rosalie just stared at me in confusion. I simply nodded letting them know that I was indeed the girl they once knew as Bella Swan.

-" I don't go by Bella any more," I said returning to my knew identity, " I'm Misha, to you," I said in confidence. " And since you know who I am. I will request of all of you to stay as far away from me as possible," I said looking straight at Edward, not even bliknking. I turned around and walked towards my family and they flanked me as ususal, I returned the time to its normal pace, and headed to the inside of school.

-" Do you think that they will stay away?" Raysa asked me.

-" Knowing them. No they will try even the impossible to try to get to talk to me," I said as cold as managed.

-" Well, they are going to get shocked," I can imagine how that will go," Ferdi laughed oudly, and a couple of students truned to look at him.

-" Shocked is not the only thing they will get," I said evily.

-" Let's the games begin," Lehanaclackled maniacally. And more students turn to face us again.

-" Why can't I have normal siblings? But no, I had to get the psychotic one, that noone wanted," Rasysa said.

-" Ray you have to admit if it wasn't for us your life would be so boring," I said dissmissing her question.

-" You have to love us," Lehana and Ferdi said at the same time.

-" I do love you, guys," she said smiling, " so what exactly are we going to do ? to the Cullen's I mean," she said.

-" Remember that one time we got kicked out of Volterra?" I asked with a far away look on my face.

-" yeah," she said nervously.

-" Oh, Hell. Yeah!!!!" Ferdi screamed, " We are SO pulling an 'Izzy',".

-" Oh, god no, not that again," she groaned.

-" Oh, yeah," Lehana said high fiving Ferdi, who was dancing in the hallway like he just won the super bowl.

-" Guys you promised to never, EVER do that again," Raysa said.

-" I had my fingers crossed," I said simply, with a cheeky grin on my face.

-" This is going to be horrible, I better Call Lux so that she has the bail money ready," Raysa said pulling out her cellphone from her bag.

-" This. Is. What. I. Call. Revenge," I said in the creepiest, lowest voice I could manage. " Let's the games begin," I turned to face all of them, " People you know what to do, if you need something just say it, I'm leaving your links open, for a 3 way conversation, guys I wish you good luck," I said in a military manner. I gestured and detarted with Ray trailing behind me.

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**It's short, I know. But this is up thanks to Liz that won't let me just simply stop writing the story, anyway..... let me know what you think, If I reach the 23 reviews the story will get another chapter, otherwise it will hang there.....Sa-llie.**


	14. Chapter 13: The Devil reveals itself

**Come on people it's not that hard to leave a couple of reviews.......**

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**Disclaimer:**

**Me: I own nothing.....*sigh* the only things I own are the new characters, the cookies in the jar, a necklace that says "forever your's" and 2 pounds of cheese.....**

**Raysa: 2 pounds of cheese? What are you going to do with 2 pounds of cheese? You can't eat all, of that.**

**Me: of course I'm going to eat it, I'm not going to let it go to waste, and I've learn from personal experience not to feed the hobos..... *shrudders***

**Raysa: I know how weird you get when you ate 1 pound ofcheese of chocolate, I'm not letting you eat 2 pounds of cheese... **

**Me: Liz dared me, I couldn't back down and that day was because of al the 6 dr. Pepper's and 2 red-bulls, it had nothing to do with the cheese....... *pouts***

**Raysa: right........anyways shouldn't you be writing a story?**

**Me: why, yes I should....**

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**Chapter 13: the devil reveals itself.**

**BPOV:**

I know that what I am about to do might be considered cruel, a torture even, but it will get the message across, DO NOT MESS WITH ME! So what if they were always nice to me? They left me unprotected, they left me to die, they took my whole life, my whole family, my love, my heart, my future with them.

So what if I still love them? They need to know about the pain that I had to live, have to live still, with. I nearly kills me everytime that Edward looks at me, even before knowing I was Bella, he would glance my way and for that little time the spark in his eye would light. He gazed lovingly, and he always threw sweet smiles my way, whenever I walked into the same room he was he wouldn't take his eyes off of me.

How am I supposed to take revenge when all I want to do is run into his arms and ask him to take me back? How am I supposed to take revenge on any of them when they all look at me with regret in their eyes? But I have to be strong, I am no longer the weak human they used to know, I've changed, I don't follow anymore, I command. Things get done how, and when I want.

I walked into First block with Raysa at my right side, Drama class where I would sit next to Alice, I knew that she would try to talk to me, to apologize. I have seen it, but I wasn't going to let her, no matter how hard it was I was going to ignore her as she had done for the last 7 months of my life, no matter how many e-mails, or texts or phone calls I never received an answer, let see how much she likes it when I do the same to her?

She did try, and gave up with a frustated sigh, after about 35 minutes, I kept seeing her trying to ambush me into letting her talk to me, but she doesn't know that I have more than one power, she doesn't know that I, alone am more powerful than all of the Volturi guards. I saw Edward trying to talk to me all through out the two blocks we had together, as well as Emmett, and Jasper, Rosalie won't even look at me and simply looked away as if ashamed.

Eventually 4th block came along and I was finally able to be away from them. I sat on a table on the outside part of the food court, I had to do this, I have to do this was a mental mantra that kept repeating itself in my mind. I left my physical shield since I was alone there, and changed my scent to my human, strawberries and freesia's but more potent, as if concentrated, and walked through every single hallway, and restroom in the school, of course that I mentally checked that the boys restrooms were empty. I placed a disturbance on ramdon parts of the school, where if one of the Cullen's walk through it they would see my memories of them.

I met with Raysa and Lehana, in the hallway to walk our way to History class, where JASper and Edward were, Jasper sitting behind me, and Edward to my left, and Raysa in front of me. this are going to be two really long blocks. During class I felt Edward try to pass my mental shield and try to read Ray, I wouldn't even tell him to stop it, as annoying as the tugging in my head got, I would not talk to any of them.

Lehana was in class with Emmett and Rosalie and was changing her look to my vampirte self, and to my human self then to her own, confusing them to insanity, and it was working, and she would do the same to any of the other Cullen's she shared classes with. And Ferdi was using his voice imitaion gift to make himself talk like my human self on and off driving them crazy, I could feel irritation, frustration, confusion, and fear, my plan was working just fine and this whole thing would go on until they couldn't handle it anymore.

About a week later, Alice came to us, looking shaken, and dragging a very irritated Jasper.

-" I've tried to talk to you, I've tried to get you to even look at me and this whole you're every where, it's diving me crazy, please, I tried to apologize, to make you understand that I didn't want to leave but I listened to Edward because so many times when any of us wanted to moved he wouldn't even ask why he simply went along with us. I wanted to come back, and I did but ir was too late, you were 'missing' and Charlie was broken, and I couldn't see you, I thought you had died...." she sobbed, and Jasper wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. I didn't say anything but I placed my hand on her forearm and showed her everything that had happened to me since they left. The numbness, the pain, the nightmares, Victoria, meeting the Russo's and living with the horrible pain, and giving her a taste of my pain so that she could know with what I have to live every day of this misserable existance.

I heard her gasp and clutch at her chest and her knees gave up, good thing that Jasper had been holding her or else she would have meet the floor. I pulled my hand away from her and walked straight to the front of the school, she wouldn't even look at me during first block, I knew that if she could have, she would have been crying, because her eyes glistened with the venom tears that would never fall.

Later that day Emmett kept trying to apoligize like he had since he found out I was Bella, but I ignored him as I had been doing for over a week. Jasper and Edward like Alice wouldn't look my wa, and I was hurt and glad that they were so ashamed that they couldn't even face me. Rosalie look at me her eyes weren't simpathetic, nor ashamed, as I sat next to her in Drafting class, she turned to face me.

-" Look," she said in a harsh whisper, " I know that I wasn't the nicest person to you, but you have to understand that while you were a human you were a treath to exposure for us, and I really don't want to see my family hurt," she took a deep breath and continued, " I know I was a total bitch to you but, please give my family another chance, you don't know how much it has hurt all of us when we left, Emmett is not my Emmy bear, anymore he just sulks and whispered that he was a horrible big brother for letting you get hurt, Alice doesn't even want to go shopping anymore because she says that it's no fun if you aren't there. Esme it's heart broken because she lost another child and not having you around and with Edwdard not even leaving his room to hunt he just sulks, Emmett and Jasper have to drag him out to hunt because otherwise he won't. Carlisle is always at the hospital, he doesn't even want to go home, and once he's force to go home he'll lock himself in his study, Jasper can barely stay in the house for about 35 minutes because of all the emotions in the house, the house is like a cementary, and as much as I hate to admit it, Bella you were a very member of my family even if I hated you,". She said in a soft barely audible voice.

-" Rosalie," she looked surprised that I actually talked to her, " I don't resent you, you were the only one who never lied to me, and Jasper, but he couldn't help it if he couldn't handle his blood thirst like all of you," I looked away towards the blackboard, " I was hurt, do you have any idea what it would feel like if Emmett suddenly tells you that he doesn't want you anymore? That you were only a distraction? Imagined how I felt when Edward told me those things in the woods, and simply left me there. I still live withthat pain in my chest all the time, every day, It never goes a way it dulls out but when it comes back my body can handle it, do you have any idea of how weak I feel? That no longer being human, I'm not strong enough to have his love? I want you all to feel what I feel, what I felt, Jasper I have to spare because there's no need for him to feel like that everyday, while the rest of you only gets to know for a few seconds," I said and the bell rang, I stood up, and I saw the venom tears in Rosalie's eyes, I walked out of the room with Ray rubbing my back.

We got home and I ran straigh to my bedroom and locked myself in there and let the tears and sobs escape, I cried for hours until I lost conciousness. Horrible nightmares from my past ran through my mind, I shot up, panting. I was so scared that I teletransported to the only place on Earth were I felt save, at home. Edward's meadow. Where I cried some more, after a would couple of hours I teletransported to the Russon's house, where everyone was screaming at someone else for letting me dissapear.

-" Guys, I'm sorry I scared you, but I needed to be alone, for a while," I said and they all nodded Ray came to my side and wrapped her arms around my waist and we headed to our bedroom.

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**I still didn't get my 23 reviews but Liz has being a plage for the last couple of days and made me post this chapter....... I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thing of it. Sa-llie.**


	15. Author's Note

_**Authors note:**_

_**I'm sorry, if you made it this far to read this.....but, I will not post the next chapters until I meet the expected amount of reviews. It's very discouraging to spend so much time and effort on something that doesn't even feel like it's getting the attention it would, or should be getting. Sorry if I tricked you into thinking that this was another chapter but until I get my 23 reviews, I will not post chapter 14. That's only two more reviews people it's not that hard to leave a review or a comment just hit the blue button on the bottom of the page. If the story sucks and you think something should be changed tell me and I'll try to fix it, I'm not very picky as too how this story will turn up, because so far I only know what's going to happen in chapter 14 and maybe chapter 15.....SO PLEASE REVIEW.......Sa-llie.**_


	16. Chapter 14:Facing my demons

**Sorry if I came a little bit too hard asking for the reviews and all, but it seems that if I don't push my readers I won't get enough, and I need motivation people, for those who wanted the next chapter, here it is TAh-DAh! I'm aiming for 32reviews to post chap, 15...Sa-llie.**

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******Disclaimer:**

**I still own nothing.....Sadly......Sa-llie.**

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**Chapter 14: Facing my demons.**

**BPOV:**

It's has been too much, I feel overwhealmed. They're in every classroom, in the hallways, in the food court, in the parking lots, every freaking where!!? I need a break. They won't stop trying to get me to talk, Alice breaks down in sobs everytime I walk into the classroom, Emmett has a grim look all the time, Jasper looks relieved, Edward. OH. MY. GAWD!!! Edward how I wish I could I could hear his voice again, but as soon as he is in hearing range I place my physical shield and he's pushed again instantly.

He always has this longing look in his eyes, but I can't be near him. All I want is to be able to kiss him again, or for him to at least hold me, but I can't because he made it clear, He does not want me, even if Alice and Jasper say it's all lies. He told me how our kind is easily distracted, and I completely understand, now, that I am a vampire too. He told me how I was just a simple distraction, and I knew, always knew that it all was too good to last, I think the sad end came sooner than later?

Since I need to be away from them, I decided that Ray and I would go for a little time off to Fiji, **(A/N: I just saw a brochure to a vacational stay in Fiji, I thought it looked cool, so that's why she's going there) **Ray and I where currently being driven to the airport by Lehana, and still in my ' Ray's twin" look but this time we looked a good 17 year old instead of the normal 13 year old, Raysa wanted a little change, and I really had nothing better to do than to stop people from oogling at my 'twin sister' which was kind of a riot since I'm supposed to look exactly like her, and she would do the same.

When we got to the airport, I was hit with a horribly familiar smell. I took deep breaths, and Ray noticed, she grabbed my hand and asked me what was wrong and I simply looked at her and replied: " since I promised you that you would look older, I'm goint to have to ask you, would you like us to turn into the Lebedev twin's? Or would like to be the mother of a 4 year old, Leah Novak?" I said still looking in her eyes.

-" Why what's going on?" she asked looking around to see if she could find something wrong.

-"Nothing really, the Cullen's are here," I said using my telepathy to show her the Cullens seating at our gate.

-" I get to be the mom?" she asked, a little nervous, she was never the one to take charge after I came into the family, she used to because she had to, but now that I was around she never wanted to be the responsible one.

-" I just want to get away from them and, I did promised you that you would get to look older, and what other better way to annoy 5 vampires in a airplain with an 9 hours ride, than an annoying 4 year old asking question and doing unexplicable thing? When she as a human should be scared of them?" I asked them already seeing how the entire flight would turn out.

-" How come they are in the same flight? Is Alice able to see through your shield?" she asked as we walked into the an empty restroom so that I could shange all my clothes and bags into a smaller scale of it original size, and chcanging or looks into 26 year old, Light brown haired and impossible bluish-green eyes Madeline Novak and a 4 year old miniature copy of 'Madeline' Leah Novak, we always carried all of I.d's just in case like right now. Lucky for us they come really handy from time to time.

-" She didn't see through mine, she saw through Lehana's and saw us going away to Fiji, and decided to run us down, so not only at school will she try to get me to talk to her, but even when I want to go away from them," I said in a childish voice, after all I supposed to be a 4 year old.

We came out of the restroom me dragging a tiny version of the same suitcase Raysa was dragging and being a 4 year old hold onto her hand to keep up the appareances and because it was just natural for us to hold hands all the time. We came closer to the terminal were we would have to wait a good half an hour. It was 6:45am and as every normal child in the world I sat on my 'mommy's' lap and fell asleep, and was woken by said 'mommy' and she caried me into the plain, I was really tired don't know why, because I had had enough rest the night and evening before, I saw Emmett help my 'mommy' carry my things as she carried me into the airplain, a good 3 hours later, I was awake and noticed that Rosalie, Emmett and Alice were sitting in front of us and Jasper next to my 'mommy' and Edward was across the hall by himself in the row of seats. 'Mommy' made me eat some grilled cheese sandwish from the airplain and let me had a second glass of chocolate milk, which was just to made the others passengers that I was just sugar high instead of a vampire with the gift of glamour. **(A/N: in case you don't know what glamour is is the power of making people see or not see what's really there.)**

After a good 5 minutes of finish drinking two glasses of chocolate milk, I started to jump in the seat, and then I stood up while 'mommy' was asleep, and started to pet Rosalie's hair. She turn slowly with a murderous look at me, me being a '4 year old' started to get watery eyes as my 'mommy' sat next to me 'sleeping'. My lower lip quivered and I was going to start full blown crying then her face soften and her cooed at me, I hiccuped a little and she smiled shyly at me, I smiled as big as a fake smile can be, and started to pet her hair again after a little while I slid under her chair and jumped infront of her screaming 'boo' she jumped a little and I giggled a little.

-" Hi, I'm Leah, I'm four years old, I'm a big girl," I said proudly, and they said I could act when I was a human. Alice and Rosalie focused there attention on me while Emmett ignored the 4 yeard old talking to his wife and sister. I turned my face to him and faked, to be amazed I pulled on his shirt and he looked at me, My eyes widen and I whisper: " Is your name Teddy?"I said blushing a little.

-" What?" was his clever answer.

-" Is your name Teddy?" I asked again just a little bit louder than before.

-" No, the name is Emmett shrimp," he smiled brightly.

-" I'm not a shrimp, I'm a girl," I pouted and Alice and Rosalie awed.

-" Sure thing shrimp," he chuckled. " Why would you think my name was Teddy?" he asked as I looked up at him.

I smiled widely, " because you look like a bear," I said cheeky. His eyes widen and Jasper choked a laughter. I turned to look at Rosalie, and said: "You are really pretty," I said and crawled to sit on her lap to keep playing with her hair, messing it up. I knew she hated it, because when I was a human and Emmett would touch her hair she would hiss at him not to touch her precious hair.

-" Is that why you touch my hair little Leah?" she asked in the sweetest voice, I have never heard Rosalie talk like that before, she doesn't even talk like that to Emmett her mate, what the hell was up with her, and that look she was giving me?

I nodded my head to her answer, and she asked were my 'mommy' was, so I told her, " she went night-night," I whispered, "Sshhh," I said placing my finger on my lips. I talked to them for a little while then I sat on Alice's lap and she was playing with my hair and I said: " You have pretty eyes," I said looking at her face, smiling, I felt Alice stiffened under me, and saw Rosalie and Emmett stiffened.

-" You have pretty eyes too, every unique," Rosalie said.

-" Your eyes look like Fifi's, how do I get them like that," their eyes widened, and the froze for the smallest second.

-" Who's Fifi?" Emmett asked nervously.

-" Fifi is my big girl sitter, because I'm not a baby anymore, I'm this old," I said showing him 4 fingers, I gesture for him to come closer, and when he did I looked around made sure noone was listening and cupped my hand near my mouth to whisper at him, " Fifi is a vampire," to that Alice and Rosalie gasped and Emmett turn to look at Edward who had growled, " she wears a cape and everything, she has pointy teeth and she doesn't like the sun, she said she'll get sunburn if she goes out without sunblock, and when she came to the house the first day she said she didn't bite and she hasn't she's a good vampire," I said still in a whiper, "but mommy doesn't know that Fifi is a vampire, don't tell her," I said at the end, looking through the seat at a 'sleeping' yet smiling Madeline Novak.

They relaxed a little apparently they thought that 'Fifi' was just an human obssessed on vampires like many other in the world, I yawned, using so many powers at the same time can surely drain my energy, I crawled again into Rosalie's lap and leaned my head into her shoulder, and whispered, " night-night" before falling asleep on her. It has only being 3 and a half hours and we still had 5 and a half hours of flight, a couple of minutes I woke up to a frantic 'mother' calling my 4 year old self. I blinked and I was being passed from Rosalie to Raysa, they talked in whispers, but I could hear what they were saying having super hearing and everything.

After Raysa sat down in her respective seat, and I pretended to sleep, I had a silent conversation with her.

-"_ I loved the whole, Fifi being a vampire, that was hilarious_," She said to me mentally.

-" _I know, you should have seen their faces they were like WTF? and Wahhh? It was so funny_," I answered her.

-" _So what now?_" She asked.

-" _Their room is going to be next to ours, so I will be having fun popping in on them from time to time, and scaring them with my powers, and asking them questions, oh this is going to be a very good and very stressing vacations_," I said to her.

-" _Mish, rest, I know your tired from using all those powers at the same time for that long,_" she said and ran her fingers through my hair and I drifted to sleep.

I woke up acouple of hours later, feeling refreshed and I tried to make Jasper play with me, we playing 'I see' and I tought him that annoying never ending song, and I poked his sides and he tickled me, then he put me down I walked to Edward ho sat by himself on his row and sat next to him and started to annoy him.

-" What's your name?" I asked him kicking my short legs in the air.

-" Edward," he said not really paying attention to me.

-" Why?" I asked him. He shrugged. " What are you reading?" I asked him lookin over at his book.

-" Wuthering heights," she said brushing me off.

-" Why?" I asked I said poking his arm, he looked at me with a questioning look.

-" Because it's the favorite book, of the most important girl in the world," he said returning to the book.

-" Who's that girl?" I asked pulling at the sleeves of his sweater to get his attention.

-" Isabella Swan, she is my everything, but I had to leave her to keep her save," he said with the saddest look on his face.

-" Why did you leave her?" I asked I might as well get the real deal out of him.

-" I love her so much, but I could hurt her, and I didn't want to hurt her at all, but when I left her she got really hurt and she died, and it's all my fault," he sounded like he could be crying and he burried his face in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. I didn't know he was hurting so bad over it, I thought I was only a distraction to him, if that was true he wouldn't be like this over it.

I hugged him, and god I wanted to hug him and kiss him, but I could get any closer than this it would blow my clover. I played ith his hair like I had done when I was a human, I jumped from the seat and walked to jasper and told him his brother was crying. I didn't meant to make him cry, I just wanted to annoy him, I didn't know he would have a melt down. Now I was feeling guilt. This sucks.

A couple of more hours passed and I sat on my seat next to 'mommy' and we arrive to an island in fiji It was forecasted so the vampires without the gift of glamour could be out in the beach or where ever they wanted to go.

We arrived at the hotel and I let go of my glamour but kept Raysa's up, I laid down in bed resting my eyes, This is going to be a really long vacation.

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**Tell me what you think.....Is it what you were expecting? Hahaha, wait till chapter 15 comes along, you might like it.....Chapter 15 requires 32 reviews..... Sa-llie.**


	17. Chapter 15: Let's the games begin,part I

**Disclaimer:**

**Sorry it took me so long to post, but life has been insane with work and school, the chapter didn't come out as expected so I had to break it down into 3 parts, so please bare with me..... I Ran out of banters and I'm too tired and lazy to try to think of something else other than the story.....Oh, I don't own twilight or it's characters.**

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**Chapter 15: Let's the games begin. **part I.

**BPOV:**

It hasn't been two hours since we arrived to Fiji when Raysa had already begged and bugged me into turning back into Leah Novak and go to the beach were she already knew that the Cullens were, she wasn't a person to do evil, she was the most innocent good doer I have ever met, she put my human self look like the devil while she was a saint reincarnate.

So here we were at the beach and I could see, Alice and Rosalie both in their bikinis and the boys in the swim trunks, Edward laid brooding away from his family but close enough to let everyone know that they were together. Raysa and I would place our stuff near them and I used my powers to make Raysa a human while in her 'Madeline Novak' disguise, and myself too.... As soon as we were in human vision range I screamed " Look mommy, my friends...." and ran off to where the Cullens were.

-" Hi, I said and jumped in between Alice and Rosalie," I smiled brightly know that this afternoon was going to be pure torture them. Since I had made myself human, my human scent came with it, so they could probably realize that I was Bella, so I did what was more reasonable, and hinted a bit of Raysa human scent with mine, since I was supposed to be her daughter and all.

-" Hey there little Leah," Rosalie greeted me and petted my hair as I sat in between her and Alice. My 'mom' arrived a couple of seconds later.

-" Sorry for the inconvenience," Raysa said and gestured for me to get up and go with her, i like and obedient child got up to go with her, knowing that neither Rosalie or Alice would have left me go away, so I reached my 'mom' and said my good byes and they instantly said that it was no inconvenience and that we could stay with them.

-" Really?" Raysa asked.

-" Yeah, it's okay," the said at the same time. I smiled at them as Raysa placed our stuff next to theirs, I bounced to Emmett and said : "HI, Teddy, wanna play in the sand?" I asked and used my best puppy face on him, I knew he wouldn't be able to resist it, nobody could.

-" Sure, shrimp," he said and got up, and we 'played' with the sand, actually I covered him in it, and giggled as I 'accidentally' threw it in his open mouth or in his eyes. After a while and I had completely buried him, the use of my powers was draining all the energy I had, an I needed to get some sleep, I dragged my legs to where Alice and Rosalie and sat on Rosalie's lap, as she and my 'mom' talked about something that I was too tired to pay attention, I played with Rosalie's hair and my eyes drooped, I fought to stay awake, but I really couldn't handle extorting my body like that, I really didn't want to fall asleep, i wanted to keep seeing Edward look at me like that, with love and curiosity in his eyes. I wanted to make Emmett like me again and be the careless guy that I once knew, not this brooding guy that I have encountered for the last couple of weeks.

I wanted Alice to be her bouncing little pixie I had known as my sister, not this quiet, and cold girl I have to see in the hallways and classroom in schools, I was still mad at them for lying to me, but they all looked so broken, even Rosalie looked pained, and she didn't even liked me as a human.

I had fallen asleep, and started to cry, remembering, dreaming about my time as a human with the Cullens. I screamed, in pain as I remembered them leaving me. To tired, and in pain my world blacked out. No more dreams, no more memories, nothing but blackness, and it's protective quietness. After a while I knew I was becoming conscious and I was going to unleash all my pain onto the Cullens, I had hold it in for too long.

I opened my eyes to find a very pained Jasper, a distraught Alice, and a very nervous Rosalie in a unfamiliar room. Edward and Emmett were nowhere to be seen and neither was Raysa, I was scared of that our cover might have being blown as I was unconscious, and I cried her name. " Mamma?" I asked with tears in my eyes, I had promised to protect her and I had failed. The tears flowed freely and Rosalie tried to stop me from crying, I screamed for Raysa again and I was feeling sick, I was still tired and drained, but I need to know were she was, that she was safe.

-" Momma? I want my mommy....." I screamed at the top of my now tiny lungs, I was extorting my body which would make me physically ill, but I didn't care I needed to know where she was. The door busted open and on the doorway was Raysa, perfectly fine, a worried looked crossed her face as showed her my inner emotional and physical state, she frowned and rushed to my side and picked me up, and held me close to her body, I could hear her heart beating evenly in her chest that was somewhat comforting, but still I was getting sick, and tears where rolling down my face, I placed my forehead against her neck, and with my body in it's current state, I was burning up, and my stomach was churning, I knew i was about to blow chunks so I gently pushed myself away from her and raced towards the bathroom.

I emptied my stomach content human food and blood and that was just simply disgusting, I rinsed out my mouth and walked slowly toward Raysa, and sat on her lap placing my head on her neck again. I cried slowly, I felt horribly, and in pain, maybe this was karma getting me back for trying to get some revenge on the Cullens when they were all very nice to me. Maybe I deserve it. I wanted to ask for forgiveness and ask them to take me back, but still hurts too much to think about how they all felt me. I used the last little bit of energy I had and proyected my feelings and memories without censors to all of them even to Raysa who knew a little bit of the story but not the entire thing.

My pain, my memories, mu numbness, everything. I heard gasps, and sobs, it was all too much and as i blacked out I heard Edward say..... "God, Bella I'm so sorry....." but I didn't get to hear whatever he was saying.

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**SORRY, SO SORRY, I haven't had enough time to write because of school and work so I had to break the chapter into 3 parts Please don't hate me.......Sa-llie.**


	18. Chapter 18

Hi, sorry to say that… I've been away from this story for so long that I don't know how to keep going with it. Last time I wrote anything my Alice turned into Victoria and quite literally nearly killed me, I was hospitalized for a long while and now I need to get stuff out, write it out, were the instructions that my therapist gave me so here I'll try to write a new story… if you had any idea as to where my story should go from her… you are welcome to give me the ideas or PM me so you can adopt it… I'd hate this story to go to waste… but I honestly do not know how to keep writing it anymore.


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